For years, I believed that being thinner would make me happier. I thought the harder I pushed myself, the closer I’d feel whole. But the truth was, I was slowly losing myself, and I didn’t even realise it.

One evening, while standing in my tiny kitchen, peeling potatoes for dinner, I felt a wave of exhaustion hit me like never before. My two small children were playing in the other room, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing inside me.

Suddenly, my head went back.

I could feel myself about to pass out.

The room blurred, my hands felt weak, and one terrifying thought hit me like a train:

If I collapse right now, my kids will be alone in this flat. The gas is on. No one will know.

That moment changed everything.

For years, I had ignored the warning signs, skipping meals, overexercising, and chasing a number on the scale that I thought would bring me happiness. But standing there, barely able to hold myself up, I realised the harsh truth:

This wasn’t just about me anymore.

I wasn’t just hurting myself; I was hurting the people I loved most. My children needed me, and if I didn’t take action, I risked leaving them to fend for themselves.

That night, I made a decision that would redefine my life:

F*ck this. I want to live.

RECOVERY IS ABOUT MORE THAN FOOD

Recovery isn’t just about eating more or exercising less. It’s about finding a reason to live. It’s about reclaiming your purpose and realising that you are worth so much more than your eating disorder.

When I work with clients now, one of the first questions I ask them is:

“What is making you want to get better?”

Because that reason, whether it’s your family, your future, or just the deep, quiet desire to finally be free, will carry you through the hardest days.

If you’re reading this and feel stuck, I want to help you take the first step. Ask yourself:

Think about the people who inspire you to heal. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community, having a support network can make all the difference.

For me, it was my children. For you, it could be your family, your dreams, or simply the idea of waking up one day free from the constant battle in your mind.

Your Journey Starts with One Step

I’ll be honest; recovery isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.

I had to rebuild my relationship with food, rediscover how to trust my body, and learn how to prioritise my mental and physical health. Through that process, I discovered something incredible:

Life is so much more than a number on a scale.

Today, I help others find their reasons for recovery, guiding them to reclaim their lives and rewrite their stories. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this:

Nothing is worth losing yourself for.

Helpful Links/Support:

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

https://www.mind.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/