Discover Your True Self
Got diagnosed with ADHD late in life? Here’s my story and what I wish I knew. Learn about ADHD lateness and the journey after a late diagnosis
I didn’t expect ADHD to be part of my story.
Like many women, I spent years believing I simply needed to try harder, get more organised, stop forgetting things, and somehow keep up with everyone around me. From the outside, I looked capable. Inside, I often felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated with myself.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD at 45, it wasn’t just a diagnosis. It was an explanation.
Suddenly, decades of struggles, coping strategies, masking, and self-criticism started to make sense. Things I had blamed on laziness, being disorganised, or simply not trying hard enough were viewed through an entirely different lens.
This isn’t a story about finding a quick fix.
It’s a story about understanding myself differently, letting go of years of shame, and discovering that there was never anything “wrong” with me in the first place.
If you’ve ever wondered whether ADHD could explain parts of your own experience, I hope my story helps you feel a little less alone.
A Moment of Clarity
As a therapist, I’ve done the research. As a mum and a neurodivergent adult, I’ve lived it. But nothing prepared me for how much emotion would come up in that assessment.
I was anxious before the call, not just a little nervous, but cortisol-surging, overthinking everything, and need-a-nervous-wee kind of anxious.
I kept thinking:
What if they say I don’t have ADHD?
What if I’m just broken?
And suddenly, all those moments, the supermarket meltdowns, the dinner decision paralysis, the zoning out at CrossFit, the one-to-one jokes because “someone has to adopt Becky again today”… they came rushing in.
Because for so long, I’ve carried this question:
Why is life so much more complicated for me?
Navigating the Emotional Impact of an ADHD Diagnosis
Essential Tips for Completing ADHD Forms
Guidelines for Accurate ADHD Form Submission
Getting Bullied in Professional Settings with Undiagnosed ADHD
I’ve been in training courses and work environments where I felt bullied.
Misunderstood.
Shamed for not “just getting it.”
I was treated like I was difficult or lazy or too much.
And no one ever asked why. It’s heartbreaking. And it’s far too familiar, especially for women, especially for those of us masking or coping our way through
Navigating the Emotional Impact of an ADHD Diagnosis
The assessor was incredible, calm, human, and warm. She didn’t probe too far, but she asked me one question I wasn’t ready for:
“Have you experienced trauma?” I burst into tears. Because yes, I have. And I know many of you reading this have done so, too. She took her time. She listened.
She acknowledged the depth of the forms my mum and son-in-law filled in, which showed what I sometimes miss about myself.
And when she said:
“You have combined-type ADHD, both hyperactivity and inattention,” The tears just fell. Tears of relief. Because finally, I had an answer.
Finally, I had my why
Steps to an ADHD Diagnosis in the UK
Document Your Symptoms
Seek Input from Loved Ones
Schedule a GP Appointment
Utilize the Right to Choose
Essential ADHD Resources for Late Diagnosis
If you’re newly diagnosed—or still wondering if ADHD fits, these links might help you feel less alone and more informed:
Further Reading: Living Well with ADHD After a Late Diagnosis
Becky Stone
Reach Out for Support
Whether you call it ADHD lateness, late-diagnosed ADHD, or simply “finally having answers”, there is hope after clarity.
And if you’re ready to explore what support looks like, I’m here.
