It rarely starts as a decision. More often it creeps in, one small rule at a time, until the rules are running the day and you cannot remember agreeing to any of them.

Perhaps the list of foods that feel manageable keeps getting shorter. Perhaps eating in front of other people has become something to plan around, or avoid. Perhaps you have found yourself lying about lunch, not because you want to be dishonest, but because explaining feels impossible.

For some people it shows up in movement, in exercise that started as something enjoyable and now cannot be skipped, even when you are exhausted. For others it is the constant mental arithmetic running underneath a full day of work or school without anyone noticing.

And then there is the part almost nobody says out loud. Somewhere in all of this, anorexia can start to feel like the thing keeping you steady. That is not weakness or vanity, and it is one of the reasons it can be so hard to let go of. It is also something we can talk about honestly rather than something you need to hide from me.

If you are reading this and quietly thinking that your version is not serious enough to count, I would ask you to keep reading.

Neurodivergence is a vital concept within therapeutic practices, acknowledging the diverse ways in which people experience and interact with the world. At ‘Counsellor Who Cares,’ we emphasize the importance of recognizing and embracing neurodivergent traits as part of a holistic approach to therapy. Our services are tailored to meet the unique needs of neurodivergent individuals, ensuring that therapy is both accessible and effective. Explore our resources to learn more about how we integrate neurodivergence into our therapeutic framework, fostering an environment of inclusion and understanding.

This is the question I am asked most, usually by people picturing something far more clinical than what actually happens.

Sessions are conversations. Sessions are not about food policing or catching you out. Where a monitoring tool such as Recovery Record is used, it is collaborative and helps us understand patterns, thoughts and triggers. I do not prescribe meal plans, calorie targets or target weights.

What we do instead is work out what the eating disorder is doing for you, what it costs you, and what needs to be in place before you can start letting go of it. We will not cover everything below, and certainly not in this order.

We look at where the rules came from, what they promise you, and what actually happens when one of them bends. The fear can feel enormous, and it cannot simply be argued away. We explore it gradually, at a pace you can manage. Fear around food and weight can carry different things for different people, and part of the work is finding out what it is carrying for you rather than assuming.

You will not be shamed in my sessions either. Not for a difficult week, not for something you are embarrassed about, not for telling me you are not ready.

I work integratively, which means there is no single fixed model applied to everyone. What we use depends on how you think, what has already been tried, and what you actually want from this.

For some people, an eating difficulty is tangled up with how their brain works, and standard support does not fit. If you have been through services before and come out feeling the approach was designed for somebody else, this may be part of why.

None of what follows applies to every autistic or ADHD person. Plenty have no difficulty with food at all. But where these things do overlap, they need understanding rather than working around.

I am not diagnosing anyone, and I am not treating neurodivergence. I take neurodivergence seriously as part of the picture and agree on any useful adjustments with you rather than assuming what you need.

Professional Training and Real Understanding

I am Becky Stone, a qualified integrative counsellor and registered BACP member with more than fifteen years in practice. I completed Master Practitioner training in eating disorders with the National Centre for Eating Disorders in 2018, and I work online with adults and teenagers across the UK.

My approach is warm, honest and direct. I understand that anorexia is rarely just about food. It can become tangled up with fear, identity, perfectionism, control, trauma and the way your brain processes the world. I also bring personal understanding of eating difficulties, ADHD and dyslexia, so you will not have to explain everything from the beginning or pretend that straightforward advice is easy to follow.

I will not shame you, police what you eat or expect you to arrive feeling completely ready for recovery. We will work at a pace you can manage, making space for both the part of you that wants things to change and the part that is frightened of letting go.

I want to be straightforward about this, without turning it into a list of things to be frightened of.

Restriction affects the body as well as the mind, and sometimes it does so quietly. That is why counselling is often one part of the support rather than all of it. For many people, working with me alongside a GP is exactly the right arrangement. Some also need dietetic input or a specialist NHS eating disorder service, and I will say so if I think that is the case.

Where there is physical risk I will ask you to involve your GP, and I would want us to agree that together. With your consent I am glad to liaise with a GP or dietitian where it genuinely helps your care.

I hold confidentiality carefully. There are limited circumstances where I may need to share information without your agreement, including serious risk, safeguarding concerns or a legal requirement. These boundaries are explained clearly in our agreement, and wherever possible I would discuss the situation with you first.

If you feel seriously unwell, are at immediate risk or believe you may be experiencing a medical emergency, contact your GP, NHS 111, A&E or 999 as appropriate. I am a counsellor, not a doctor, dietitian, psychiatrist, clinic or emergency service, and counselling does not replace medical monitoring or specialist care where that is needed.

I work with young people from the age of eleven upwards, and I spent years in schools before this, so teenagers are a familiar part of my work.

If you are a parent, there are a few things worth knowing before you get in touch. Your child needs to know you are contacting me. I will not begin work with a young person who has been brought to therapy without being told what it is. Their willingness also matters. Reluctance is completely normal, but if they are actively refusing, it is usually better to spend time on that first.