Binge eating can feel like it comes out of nowhere. One moment you’re doing fine, and the next you’re caught in a whirlwind of cravings, guilt, and shame. For many of the clients I work with, the binge itself is only the tip of the iceberg. What lies underneath is something harder to name: a harsh inner critic, a lifetime of people-pleasing, and the exhausting pressure to be “perfect.”

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Binge eating is not about a lack of willpower. It’s often a coping strategy that helps you survive emotional pain you were never given the tools to process.

Let’s explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, and that cruel internal voice often work together to keep binge eating stuck in place, and how healing starts by gently unpicking these patterns with compassion.

Many clients struggling with binge eating have spent years putting others first. You may have learned early on that your needs were “too much,” or that love had to be earned through self-sacrifice. Over time, saying “yes” when you wanted to say “no” became second nature.

But constantly prioritising others leaves little room for emotional expression, rest, or nourishment. Binge eating often becomes a hidden outlet, a way to reclaim a moment of care or comfort that’s otherwise missing.

Bingeing can feel like the only time you’re allowed to take up space, even if it’s followed by shame.

Julie McClorey is a dedicated therapist with a focus on binge eating recovery. Her expertise lies in helping individuals understand the emotional triggers behind their eating habits. Julie is hosting an upcoming group session titled “Unmasking the Inner Critic: Reclaiming Self-Worth.” This session is designed to guide participants in exploring the roots of their self-worth issues and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Join Julie to embark on a journey towards self-discovery and healing.

The inner critic is often the loudest voice in the room. It says things like:

“You shouldn’t have eaten that.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You’ll never change.”

This voice might echo things you heard in childhood, or it may have developed to keep you in line, to prevent rejection, failure, or shame. But instead of motivating change, it often keeps the cycle going.

The more you hate yourself after a binge, the more likely you are to binge again.

Healing starts when we get curious about this voice instead of letting it run the show. What is it trying to protect you from? Whose voice does it sound like? What would it mean to speak to yourself with kindness instead?

Set boundaries without guilt

Offer ourselves the care and nourishment we give to others

Build self-compassion, one small step at a time

You don’t have to keep carrying this alone. There is support, and there is hope.

You’re not a project to fix,  you’re a person to care for.

If you see yourself in these words, please know: binge eating is not a character flaw. It is a strategy for managing what feels unbearable, and that deserves so much compassion.

Real healing is possible when we stop treating the binge as the problem and start listening to what it’s trying to say.