The Wonder Woman Cape: Boundaries, Burnout and Why Helping Isn’t Always Helping
Ever felt like helping others was your superpower… until it drained you dry?
Neurological Insights
Emotional Dynamics
Practical Applications
The Cost of Being Too Helpful
I used to think helping people made me a good person.
In truth, it made me tired, resentful, and eventually… burnt out.
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Growing up ADHD, I didn’t recognise where my boundaries ended and others’ needs began.
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My self-esteem was low, so if someone didn’t like me, I felt like I’d failed.
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I’d give, give, give… then disappear. Bed rotting. Burnt out. Overwhelmed.
This isn’t kindness. It’s self-abandonment.
The Wounded Healer Trap
Understanding the Cost of Giving from Wounds
Understanding Attraction Patterns
The Wonder Woman Analogy
My nervous system loves the dopamine of being useful.
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I’d swoop in, fix the problem, and feel important.
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The adrenaline hit? Addictive.
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But when the cape’s glued on too long, I’d crash, hard.
This helped me realise: my worth isn’t tied to being the fixer.
The Neuroscience Behind Boundaries
When you’re neurodivergent (especially with ADHD), boundaries aren’t just emotional, they’re neurological.
Here’s what the science says:
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ADHD brains seek novelty and stimulation, and helping others can flood us with dopamine
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People-pleasing equals short-term reward, long-term fatigue.
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Chronic stress from poor boundaries can dysregulate your nervous system and lead to burnout.
Neurodivergent brains often experience guilt more intensely, and we tend to mirror others’ emotions. Boundaries can feel like rejection, but they’re actually a form of regulation.
The Shift from Fixing to Witnessing
The Wounded Healer Trap
Therapists, parents, carers, we often give from our wounds.
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You give so much because no one gave that to you.
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You want to protect others from feeling how you once did.
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But when it comes from survival, not strength, the cost is high.
Ask yourself:
Are you rescuing because they need you…
Or because you need to feel needed?
Understanding Your Audience
Who Are You Attracting?
Certain patterns attract certain people:
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Givers attract takers
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Unclear boundaries attract manipulators.
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Empaths often attract narcissists or emotionally unavailable people
A powerful reframe:
It’s not about whether you’re good enough for them, it’s whether they’re good enough for you.
Empowering Tools for Recovery
Discover Tools That Truly Support You
Here’s what I now teach clients (and remind myself daily):
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Create a “Boundary Menu”, What are your non-negotiables?
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Pause before saying yes; dopamine will try to say yes quickly.
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Use neutral scripts like “Let me get back to you”
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Set time limits and check your energy before committing
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If you feel resentment, it’s a red flag
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Schedule recovery time before burnout happens
Therapeutic Approaches
What I Practise in Therapy
In my work as a trauma-informed therapist, I don’t rescue people.
I sit beside them.
That’s the most powerful shift I’ve made:
from “Let me fix you” to “Let me witness you.”
And it’s made all the difference in my work and my life.
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Empower Your Journey
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in the UK. I work with both teens and adults, offering a calm and non-judgmental space to explore what recovery truly means, on your terms.
With a background in supporting people through anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, anxiety and depression, I know how complex and personal this journey can be. As someone with ADHD and a history of people-pleasing, I know what it’s like to give until you break. My job now? To help you build boundaries that protect your peace and preserve your energy.
Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a dedicated therapist with a passion for supporting individuals on their journey to recovery. With a background as a qualified eating disorder counsellor, I specialize in helping both teens and adults overcome challenges related to anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating. My approach is deeply informed by my own experiences with ADHD and people-pleasing, allowing me to connect with clients on a personal level. I am committed to providing a compassionate, non-judgmental space where healing and growth can flourish.
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