It may seem selfish, but honestly, it’s something we should all learn to do a little more of. Sometimes, we’re so blinded by everything going on around us that we forget to care for ourselves.
Why struggle to put ourselves first?
Maybe because we were always told to be kind and loving towards other people and that it was selfish if we didn’t care for those around us. That everyone around us should be happy, and if we make them happy, we’re doing something right. That’s not to say we shouldn’t give our love to the ones that we care about, but we should never lose love for ourselves.
The consequences of ignoring self-care
The danger of putting others first and neglecting self-care when we give what we have to others, sometimes we forget to care for ourselves, love ourselves, and often help ourselves when we struggle. We’re so invested in caring for others who are so used to giving and need help, which is why we should always come first.
The consequences of ignoring self-care
We find ourselves becoming depressed because we don’t think about how it’s often forgotten just to take a break and relax; of course, it’s hard when we have busy schedules and can’t just sit down for a cup of tea or go to a spa. But sometimes, we must detox from our hectic lives and take a nice beer, tuck into a bath, a yummy cake, and breathe. Sometimes, we would instead put everyone else before ourselves; if they’ve problems, we’re there to sort them and wipe their tears away. It can be that we’re so caught up in the issues they have that we find ourselves becoming depressed because we don’t think about how it’s affecting us, helping others or the fact that we simply just don’t take care of ourselves.
However, if you’re unhappy, stressed and burnt out, you will not be suitable for yourself or anybody else. Remember to take care of yourself and your mental health only when you’re on track and feeling good, then offer help to those around you if they need it.
Setting boundaries the difference between kindness and being a pushover
If you constantly say ‘yes’ to things you don’t want to, you’re letting people walk all over you. Being there for help and being kind is one thing, but letting people treat you like a pushover is something you should never allow. When you are too kind or pleasing, some people will take it for granted. They only sometimes appreciate everything you do for them, and they might not value you for using the time to be there for them. Some people will take advantage of your kind heart if you let them.
There is a vast difference between being selfish and putting yourself first. Being selfish means you are self-absorbed and don’t care about anybody or anything but yourself. Putting yourself first means being as kind to yourself as you are to others. It means taking care of yourself to be more productive, organised, and a better person. It means just loving yourself a little more, and that’s not selfish; it’s necessary.
How self-care improves the relationships
The people around you will benefit from it, and your relationships and friendships with others will improve because you’re feeling happier and loving yourself a little more rather than, after all, you don’t have the ‘time’ for yourself. Just because you’re not constantly putting them first, that’s okay and worn out. A: if they care about you, they’ll understand that you come first.
Mental health and physical health and the connections
It’s not just about your physical appearance; it also means taking care of your mental health. Have you ever realised that after a crazy, stressful week of working long hours and feeling overwhelmed, you finally make it to the weekend only to wake up sick and stuck in bed? This is the outcome: if you do not put yourself first, your body will force you to. It’s like exercising; if you don’t take a break from it occasionally, your body will feel so run down that you’ll have to take a break.
The most crucial aspect is that your relationship with yourself will improve. Only when you learn to put yourself first will you be able to get to know who you are and how strong you are? I am sitting on the bed When you’re down, you will know how to help yourself. You’ll discover yourself in ways you never thought possible and value yourself more. You will be there for people who are important to you, but you will keep them from taking advantage.
You will learn your likes and dislikes. Before, you did not have the opportunity to do so because you kept putting yourself last. Be your priority, and remember that the key to happiness and good relationships with others is taking care of yourself and loving yourself.
Final thoughts remember your worth
Remember to have time for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with needing a day or two to yourself. Don’t ever feel bad for putting yourself first; you need to in order to live a healthier life. Love those around you, but just don’t let them take advantage when it’s you who needs the help the most.
Just remember your worth, that you come first, and that you’re the only one who matters when feeling better mentally and physically.
If you’re finding it difficult to prioritise yourself or if you’re struggling with your mental health, it’s okay to seek help. Based in Canterbury, I offer professional counselling that can support you in exploring what’s going on in your life. Whether you prefer an informal chat online or a walk-and-talk session, I’m here to help. Book your session today using the link below and start your journey to better well-being.
