Navigating Motherhood with Compassion
The Hidden Struggles of Eating Disorders in Pregnancy
Explore the complexities of pregnancy for those battling eating disorders, and discover pathways to healing and understanding.
Unspoken Challenges
Pregnancy and Eating Disorders: A Silent Battle
Growing a baby when you’re still healing yourself.
It’s one of the most invisible, painful, and guilt-ridden experiences you can go through. And yet, almost nobody talks about it.
When you think of pregnancy, you should think of glowing skin, joy, and that blooming belly. But for so many women who have struggled-or are still struggling-with disordered eating, pregnancy is a minefield of triggers.
I know because I’ve lived it.
The Weight of Silence
Let’s name it: Pregnancy and eating disorders are a taboo pairing. But the silence is deafening and dangerous.
According to a study in the International Journal of eating disorders, approximately 7.5% of pregnant women meet criteria for a diagnosable eating disorder. And those are just the ones who report it. Many more continue to suffer in secret, silently battling food rules, body image distortion, and deep shame.
Because how do you admit you’re terrified of gaining weight… when your body is literally supposed to be growing?
How do you say you feel “gross” or “too big” without someone saying, But you’re having a baby, this is beautiful?
The truth? It is beautiful. And complicated. And full of conflict.
You can want to nourish your baby and still feel disgusted by your new shape.
You can love your child deeply and hate the fact that your body doesn’t look the same anymore.
You can know what matters most, and still spiral when your jeans don’t fit.
These things can be true at the same time.
I remember after I gave birth. My body had changed. I was fuller, curvier. My breasts were swollen from breastfeeding, my belly soft and scarred from stretch marks that felt like tiger scratches. My skin broke out. I was exhausted.
But instead of being gentle with myself, I was punishing.
I wanted to snap back. I wanted to feel in control. I’d look in the mirror and see only flaws: sagging skin, tired eyes, boobs that no longer looked like mine.
And I was embarrassed, because how dare I feel this way when I’d just created life?
I felt selfish. Vain. Absorbed in my appearance when I should’ve been soaking in the magic of motherhood. And yet… those thoughts haunted me. Every time I looked down at the body that used to be mine, but now felt foreign.
What I wasn’t doing was this:
Giving myself credit. For carrying life. For feeding and nurturing another human. For surviving the sleep-deprived blur of new motherhood.
Years later, I look at my two now-grown children, strong, hilarious, kind, independent humans. And I wouldn’t trade a single stretch mark for the privilege of being their mum.
Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, an eating disorder therapist and trauma-informed counsellor. I’ve walked this road myself. I know what it feels like to be at war with your body while trying to protect a baby you love more than anything.
If you’re navigating pregnancy, postpartum, or the long road of recovery, please know that there is space for you here. Stretch marks, shame, softness, and all.
You are not selfish. You are human. And your story deserves to be held with care.
Embracing Change
The Emotional Journey of Postpartum Body Changes
After childbirth, I found myself navigating a complex web of emotions. My body, once familiar, felt foreign and unpredictable. The stretch marks and curves were constant reminders of the life I had nurtured, yet they also triggered a sense of loss for my pre-pregnancy self. Each glance in the mirror was a battle between acceptance and self-criticism. It was a journey of learning to celebrate the incredible feat my body had accomplished while mourning the changes that felt beyond my control. This emotional turmoil was a testament to the profound impact of motherhood on one’s identity and self-perception.
Pregnancy, a time of joy and anticipation, can unexpectedly stir the embers of past eating disorder behaviors. Even for those who consider themselves recovered, the rapid body changes and hormonal fluctuations can reignite old patterns of restriction, bingeing, or obsessive thoughts about food and weight. The pressure to maintain a certain image during pregnancy, coupled with societal expectations, can exacerbate these struggles. It’s a silent battle that many endure, often feeling isolated and misunderstood, as they strive to protect both their mental health and their growing child.
The arrival of a newborn brings immense joy, but it also introduces a profound conflict between the desire for bodily autonomy and the demands of caregiving. As a new mother, the urge to regain control over one’s body can clash with the relentless needs of a baby. This struggle is not about vanity; it’s about reclaiming a sense of self amidst the chaos of motherhood. Balancing self-care with the care of a newborn becomes a delicate dance, where each step is a testament to a mother’s resilience and dedication to both her well-being and that of her child.
Navigating Recovery During Pregnancy
The Duality of Control and Care
If you’re struggling, you are not alone. Here’s what we know from research:
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Pregnancy can trigger the return of eating disorder behaviours even if you’ve been in recovery. The body changes rapidly, and the loss of control can be terrifying. Hormonal shifts and societal pressure only make it harder.
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Orthorexia (obsession with “clean” eating) often shows up in pregnancy disguised as “healthy eating for baby,” but can become obsessive and restrictive.
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Postnatal vulnerability is especially high. Many women report relapse of disordered eating after giving birth, when their body doesn’t “bounce back.” This can affect breastfeeding, bonding, and mental health.
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Shame keeps us silent. Many mothers feel they can’t admit they’re struggling because they don’t want to be judged, or worse, feel like they’re failing their baby.
But talking about it matters. Because the sooner you name it, the sooner you can get help.
The Untold Pressure of Motherhood Perfection
Instagram-perfect bumps. Celebrity bodies that “snap back.” Wellness coaches posting abs two weeks postpartum.
What no one posts is:
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The tears in the shower because your body doesn’t feel like yours.
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The quiet calorie counting disguised as “meal planning.”
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The inner voice saying you’re not a good mum unless you look like you haven’t had a baby.
We’re living in a culture that praises the pregnant body, but only on specific terms: glowing, graceful, and contained.
There’s no space for messiness. For bloated. For “too big.” For the women who can’t stop weighing themselves or who binge eat to cope with anxiety, or who quietly cry after meals because they feel out of control.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
If I could speak to my younger self, I’d tell her this:
➔ You are not disgusting. You are transitioning.
➔ You are not selfish. You are hurting.
➔ You are not alone. You are just not hearing your story told enough.
And most of all:
Your body is not broken. It is becoming.
Recovery and Pregnancy: What’s Possible
If you’re trying to get pregnant and you’re navigating an eating disorder, please know: working through your recovery now can change everything.
But even if you’re already pregnant and the thoughts creep back in, help is still available.
Therapy, nutrition support, compassionate midwives, support groups, and body image theraputic coaching can make all the difference.
You don’t have to choose between being a good mum and being mentally well. Your wellness is part of your parenting.
You Are Worth the Support
Pregnancy and eating disorders are not talked about enough, but you deserve to be part of that conversation.
You are not failing for feeling overwhelmed by your changing body. You are not broken for needing support. And you are certainly not alone.
Your baby doesn’t need a perfect body. They need a mother who is also held, seen, and supported.
