It’s hard enough when you constantly look at your appearance and can’t love yourself. Someone looking in a mirror often highlights all the negative things about themselves and never focuses on the positive. It’s heartbreaking when you can’t love yourself, no matter how hard you try.
It’s not for attention; it’s not just because we feel like if we say we hate ourselves, someone might say ”no way, you’re amazing!” Obviously, it’s nice to feel like someone thinks you’re better than you think you’re. But it’s that constant fear of waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror, and seeing someone looking back at you that you’re not in love with. We should all love ourselves and always be kind to our bodies and minds and not feel like we’re constantly battling our looks or our overall confidence.
Mirrors are deceiving; they’re nasty pieces of work that can make an individual feel like they look worse than they do. They’re objects that aren’t divine. Do you ever notice how you can go into a change, look in their slimmer, and then go in another and look super curvy? mirror and apple O room in one obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that? But seeing yourself in two different lights can play on the mind. It’s not only that, but the lighting can play a big part in the way you and your body look. Many of us try to avoid looking in the mirror just because we don’t want to make ourselves feel down, but some of us look in the mirror because we feel like we need to, like we have to because we can’t go out if we’re natural-looking or if we’re not dressed to impress.
An obsession? Yeah, it is. if you feel yourself looking in one every minute of every day, picking out pieces of your body that you dislike, and constantly putting your mind in a vicious cycle, you will never give your body and mind the love it deserves. It’s sad to think that we can’t just look in the mirror and go ”yes, look at me, I look amazing!” If we could, the world would be a better place, social media or mirrors wouldn’t divine us, and we’d give our bodies some loving. It’s nothing to be ashamed of when you don’t love yourself because we’re all known for disliking something about ourselves.
“Perception is a mirror, not a fact.
And what I look on is my state of mind reflected outwards”-Ralph Waldo Emerson
We look in mirrors because we know others will look present at us; the mirror shows us what people will see on the outside. We look in the mirror and hear the voices that make us feel like we’re not enough, and that’s because we’re not being positive about ourselves. Just because you don’t like certain aspects of yourself doesn’t mean that somebody else could be so jealous of them.
If you are unkind, critical and judgmental towards yourself, you will behave and act in ways that are unkind to yourself. Sometimes, the mirrors are distorted by what our minds can make us look at a different perception of ourselves, so if you look in the mirror and think you’re curvier or you are not divined enough, that can be your mind playing tricks on you, which then leads you to believe it and beat yourself up about it. You might take extreme measures of exercise to make yourself more ‘divined’, or you could go on a restrictive diet in hopes that the mirror will show you a different perception, but in reality, you’re fine, and you didn’t need to change.
But it’s not just our minds or the mirrors; society has put such a burden on how body image and what’s the right way to look or what’s considered the ‘perfect body’, but in reality, nothing is; not everyone can have a slim physique, have a tiny waist and no imperfections, we just can’t. Life isn’t perfect, and we all have something we wish to change; no one’s perfect, and society has drilled it into our minds that we must look ‘perfect.’ We sometimes use makeup as a mask, a mask to hide who we are, to hide what we dislike. Sometimes we use social media to portray an image of ourselves that we’re comfortable with, whether that’s makeup or a filter.
“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!”
-Robert T. Kiosaki
We change every day, and we look different; if we could all stay young, I’m sure we would, but the truth is you have to embrace it, whether that’s ageing or whether it’s gaining a bit of weight embrace it, and realise that it’s something that happens, we can’t stop ageing, and we can’t stop weight gain, they’re all life changes that are going to happen. So look in the mirror and love your wrinkles, grey hair, and curvier figure; make that mirror reflect something you love and can look at and be happy about. Don’t let it divine you make it show you that you’re incredible and you look amazing. If you train your mind to look at those things you dislike and love them instead, you’ll be so much happier. Accept yourself for who you are; you’re alive, and those imperfections are what make you human.
If it makes you feel better, ditch them mirrors; do it anyway! Or try not to look in them for a few days and see if your perception changes; it might make you realise how much you actually look in the mirror daily to ensure everything is in place. Start turning the things you see and hate into something you can love because that’s one of the most important aspects of life. You feel confident and give your body and mind the love they deserve. Remember, weight fluctuates. One day, you can look super slim, and the next day bloated; it’s ok to start loving yourself. It’s not in vain. It’s having a healthy relationship with yourself. What you say to yourself in your mind can determine how you feel about yourself; make it positive.
If you feel like negativity is taking over, try looking at the things you dislike and say, ‘This is me, this is my body, and it’s beautiful.’ It’s okay to be yourself and not to be this version of perfect; that’s just an unrealistic perception.
So dye your hair crazy colours, wear outfits that are way out of your comfort zone, eat cake, or go to the gym if that’s what makes you feel good. Enjoy yourself and your body, and ignore the people who look at you and judge. If you decide to say goodbye to the mirrors, good for you. If you decide to keep them, then make sure that when you look at yourself, the reflection looking back is smiling and confident.
”I used to look in the mirror and feel shame. I look in the mirror now, and I absolutely love myself.”
-Drew Barrymore
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Hello! I’m Becky Stone, a qualified therapist based in Canterbury, Kent. With extensive experience in mental health, helping individuals become the best version of themselves.
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