It’s hard enough when you go through life and you’re constantly looking at your appearance and you can’t love yourself, you point out all the negative things about you and never focus on the positive, it’s so heartbreaking when you just can’t love yourself no matter how hard you try. 

It’s not for attention, it’s not just because we feel like if we say we hate ourselves, someone might say ”no way you’re amazing!” Obviously, it’s nice to feel like someone thinks you’re better than you think you’re. But it’s that constant fear of waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and seeing someone looking back at you that you’re simply not in love with. We should all love ourselves, we should always be kind to our bodies and our mind and not feel like we’re having a constant battle with our looks or just our overall confidence.

Mirrors are deceiving, they’re a nasty piece of work that can actually make an individual feel like they actually look worse than they do. They’re an object that doesn’t divine you ever notice how you can go into a changing room in one store and look in the mirror and appear slimmer and than go in another and look super curvy, obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that, but when you see yourself in two different lights it can play on the mind. It’s not only that but the lighting can play a big part in the way you and your body can look. Many of us try to avoid looking in the mirror just because we don’t want to make ourself feel down, but some of us look in the mirror because we feel like we need too, like we have to because we can’t go out if we’re natural-looking or if we’re not dressed to impress.

An obsession? Yeah, it is. if you feel yourself looking in one every minute of every day and picking out pieces of your body that you dislike and constantly putting your mind in a vicious cycle, you will never give your body and mind the love it deserves. It’s sad to think that we can’t just look in the mirror and go ”yes look at me, I look amazing!” I mean if we could the world would be a better place, social media or mirrors wouldn’t divine us and we’d give our body some loving. It’s nothing to be ashamed of when you simply don’t love yourself because we’re all known for disliking something about ourselves.

“Perception is a mirror not a fact.
And what I look on is my state of mind reflected outwards”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

We look in mirrors because we know others are going to be looking at us, the mirror shows us what people are going to be seeing on the outside. We look in the mirror and hear the voices that make you feel like we’re not enough and that’s because we’re not being positive about ourselves. The truth is, just because you don’t like certain aspects of yourself doesn’t mean that somebody else could be so jealous of them.

If you are unkind, critical and judgmental towards yourself, you will behave and act in ways that are unkind to yourself. Sometimes the mirrors are distorted by what our minds can make us look at a different perception of ourselves, so if you look in the mirror and think you’re curvier or your not divined enough that can be your mind playing tricks on you which than leads you to believe it and beat yourself up about it. You might take to extreme measures of exercise to make yourself more ‘divined’ or you could go on a restrictive diet in hopes that the mirror will show you a different perception, but in reality you’re fine and you didn’t need to change.

But it’s not just our minds or the mirrors, society has put such a burden on how body image and what’s the right way to look or what’s considered the ‘perfect body’ but in reality nothing is, not everyone can have a slim physique, have a tiny waist and no imperfections, we just can’t. We all have something we wish we could change, no one’s perfect and the fact that society has drilled it into our minds that we have to look ‘perfect.’ We sometimes use makeup as a mask, a mask to hide who we’re are, to hide what we dislike. Sometimes we use social media as a way of portraying an image of ourselves that we’re comfortable with, whether that’s makeup or a filter.

“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!”

-Robert T. Kiosaki

We change every day, we look different, if we could all stay young I’m sure we would, but the truth is you have to embrace it whether that’s aging or whether it’s gaining a bit of weight embrace it, realise that it’s something that happens, we can’t stop aging and we can’t stop weight gain, they’re all life changes that are going to happen. So look in the mirror and love your wrinkles, love your grey hair, love your curvier figure, make that mirror reflect something you love something you can look at and be happy about, don’t let it divine you make it show you that you’re incredible and you look amazing. If you train your mind to look at those things you dislike and love them instead you’ll be so much happier. Accept yourself for who you’re, you’re alive and those imperfections are what make you human.

If it makes you feel better, ditch them mirrors, in fact just do it anyway! Or just try and not look in them for a few days and see if your perception changes, it might make you realise how much you actually look in the mirror a day to make sure that everything is in place. Start turning them things you see and hate into something you can love because that’s one the most important aspect of life, is that you feel confident and you give your body and your mind the love it deserves. Remember, weight fluctuates one day you can look super slim and the next day bloated, it’s ok to start loving yourself it’s not being vain it’s having a healthy relationship with yourself. What you say to yourself in your mind can determine how you feel about yourself, make it positive.

If you feel like negativity is taking over, try looking at the things you dislike and say ‘this is me, this is my body and it’s beautiful.’ It’s ok to be yourself and to not be this version of perfect that’s just an unrealistic perception.

So dye your hair crazy colors, wear outfits that are way out of your comfort zone, eat cake, or go to the gym if that’s what makes you feel good, enjoy yourself, enjoy your body, ignore the people who look at you and judge. If you decide to say goodbye to the mirrors, good for you. If you decide to keep them, then make sure that when you look at yourself the reflection looking back is smiling and confident.

”I used to look in the mirror and feel shame, I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself.”

-Drew Barrymore

 

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Journalism Student