You’re Doing Better Than You Think: A Letter for the Hard Days
Most people in therapy forget how far they’ve come. This is your reminder.
Recognizing Progress
The Mirror We Forget to Look In
Have you ever had one of those days where it all feels like too much?
Like you’re stuck, spiralling, and wondering if anything you’ve done in therapy has even made a difference?
Let me tell you something ➔ you’re doing better than you think.
We don’t give ourselves enough credit. Especially when we slip back into old habits or default to familiar behaviours. The brain craves safety, and the nervous system is hardwired to keep us alive, rather than necessarily thriving. So when you notice yourself snapping, withdrawing, obsessing, or doubting yourself again… It’s not failure. It’s your brain trying to protect you.
My Journey to Self-Trust
My Own Return to Default
I’ve been there too.
Even as a therapist, I find myself slipping into old patterns. I can go weeks feeling confident, clear-headed, strong, and then out of nowhere, I’m overwhelmed, second-guessing everything, and craving someone else to make the decision for me.
That used to be my default ➔ people-pleasing.
I spent years living on borrowed voices. Waiting for others to tell me what to do. Letting go of that wasn’t an overnight shift, it was hundreds of therapy hours, messy decisions, and tiny acts of courage stacked up over time.
Now? I’m different. Not perfect. But different. And every time I slip, I return faster. Because the rewiring has begun.
How Change Happens in the Brain
Here’s the science behind it.
Neuroplasticity, our brain’s ability to change, is real. Every time you choose a new thought, a new response, or a new boundary, your brain fires up new pathways.
But our default settings? They’re strong.
Especially if we’ve lived in survival mode or high-stress environments. Those well-worn neural tracks are like motorways. New habits are like woodland paths at first. But the more we walk them, the stronger they get.
And that’s why therapy works. Not because you never slip, but because you begin to notice, name, and change. You recover quicker. You repair faster. You react less. That is progress.
The Layers of Recovery
Healing Like a Scar
Healing isn’t about arriving.
It’s about cycling through, again and again, with more awareness and less shame. Each time you return to an old wound, you’re doing so with more tools, more insight, more support.
Think of it like a scar. It might look healed. But some days, it flares. It itches. It reopens just a little. That doesn’t mean it failed. It means you’re human.
Celebrating Micro-Wins
The Power of Small Changes
Breaking the Perfection Myth
Tiny Wins = Big Progress
One of the best things you can do?
Start noticing your 1% shifts.
➔ That moment you paused before reacting
➔ That boundary you held
➔ That meal you ate even though your brain screamed otherwise
➔ That decision you made based on your needs, not someone else’s opinions
Write them down daily, if you can. Because in a world that shouts “all or nothing,” healing is whispering: “one step at a time.”
The Myth of Perfection
Strength in Every Step
Let’s dismantle this lie: you need to be perfect to be worthy.
Perfection doesn’t exist. And even if it did, it would rob you of your humanness—your softness, your growth, your story. The parts of you that are still healing are not signs of weakness. They’re where your power lives.
We grow by getting things wrong.
We evolve by falling forward.
And we connect through our imperfection, not despite it.
A Letter to You on the Hard Days
Dear You,
If you’re reading this and it feels like you’ve gone backwards, I want you to hear this:
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
You haven’t.
You’re cycling through another layer of healing. You’re responding to life with the tools you have right now. And that is enough.
You are not broken.
You are becoming.
You are doing better than you think.
The Journey of Healing
Come back to this whenever you forget how strong you are.
➔ And if this helped you today, save it.
Let it be your mirror the next time the shame starts whispering again.
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Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in the UK. I work with both teens and adults, offering a calm, non-judgmental space to explore what recovery means, on your terms. With a background in supporting people through anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and body image struggles, I know how complex and personal this journey can be. My work is shaped by both professional training and personal experience, which enables me to connect with clients inuthentic a genuine and a way. I specialise in supporting neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism, and I believe in flexible, shame-free recovery.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about rebuilding a safe relationship with food, with your body, and with who you are.
