Why So Many Women Are Getting Diagnosed with ADHD After 35
Explore how hormonal shifts and ADHD intersect, impacting emotional regulation and self-discovery.
Understanding ADHD
Dive into the nuances of ADHD in women and how it often goes unnoticed.
Embracing Change
Learn how to adapt and thrive with practical strategies tailored for you.
Meet Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder and ADHD therapist based in the UK.
I work with both teens and adults, offering a calm, non-judgmental space to explore what recovery and self-understanding look like, on your terms.
With lived experience of ADHD and dyslexia, I deeply understand the identity questions that come after diagnosis.
Whether you’re struggling with masking, burnout, or just trying to feel “good enough”, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
The Art of Masking
The Quiet Epidemic of Undiagnosed ADHD in Women
For years, I thought I was just messy. Disorganised. Maybe even a bit lazy.
And like many women, I carried a deep, hidden shame for not being able to “get it together.”
But what if we’ve been asking the wrong question?
Because for many women, especially in our late 30s, 40s and beyond, the truth is this:
We didn’t just miss the ADHD diagnosis.
We masked our way through it.
Understanding the Diagnosis
The Emotional Journey of ADHD Diagnosis
Masking, Menopause and the Moment Everything Cracks
Masking is when we hide our true behaviours to appear “acceptable.”
It’s smiling when we’re anxious. Saying yes when we’re burnt out. Pretending we’re fine, when we’re anything but.
For many of us, this act becomes second nature.
Until one day… we can’t keep it up
And often, that day comes with hormonal shifts.
Around perimenopause and menopause, our emotional regulation dips, and suddenly the coping strategies that held us together unravel.
That’s when women start asking:
“Why can’t I manage like I used to?”
“Why am I overwhelmed all the time?”
“Am I going mad?”
No. You’re not going mad. You’re discovering a hidden part of yourself.
A Tailored Therapeutic Approach
The Diagnosis Isn’t the End, It’s the Beginning
Getting diagnosed with ADHD (and in my case, dyslexia too) was a mix of grief and relief.
Grief for all the years I didn’t understand myself.
Relief that there was finally a name for the chaos I felt inside.
But it didn’t change overnight.
I was shocked at how quiet the world was after the diagnosis.
No support. No roadmap. Just me, sitting with this new label and thinking: “Now what?”
What ADHD Actually Looks Like
ADHD in women is rarely the hyper kid bouncing off the walls.
It’s more often:
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Forgetting appointments
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Avoiding emails
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Struggling to eat regularly
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Re-reading the same paragraph 10 times
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Feeling like you’re constantly falling short
This version of ADHD is often missed, especially in bright, high-achieving women.
Navigating Shame and Self-Worth
How I Work with Women Like Me
I’m a therapist with ADHD, which means I don’t offer a one-size-fits-all approach.
I work with how your brain works.
We might use voice notes. Visuals. Post-its. Laughter.
We’ll build trust and tools that help you feel safe being yourself, not who the world told you to be.
Final Thoughts on Your Journey
Practical Tips for ADHD Women Trying to Thrive
Timers. Body doubling. Bulk buying. White noise. 1% wins.
I love practical tools that help us function without burning out.
It’s not about productivity, it’s about compassion.
Learning how to be on your own team again.
Exploring Inner Voices
Understanding Shame and Self-Worth
One thing that hits hard post-diagnosis is the shame.
Shame for the missed years.
Shame for being “too emotional” or “not consistent.”
But here’s the truth:
You were doing your best with the information and support available to you at the time.
Now you get to do it differently, with understanding, not punishment.
Embracing Your Authentic Self
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Too Much
You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be.
Your brain is not the problem; the world just hasn’t caught up yet.
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