Empowering Recovery Journeys
When Your Child Is Waiting for CAMHS: What Parents Can Do Right Now
When you hear the words “We’re referring your child to CAMHS,” it can feel like both relief and panic. Relief that someone finally recognises your child’s struggle, and panic because the waiting list can feel endless.
Every week, I receive calls from parents in tears, terrified their child is losing weight, shutting down, or retreating into silence. They’re waiting for help. They’re doing everything they can. And they feel completely powerless.
If that’s you, I see you. This blog is for you
Building Trust Beyond Meals
Understanding the System, and Its Limitations
CAMHS can be life-changing. The staff are dedicated, compassionate, and truly want the best for every child they see. But the reality is, the system is overwhelmed.
When parents put all their hope in CAMHS, they often pause everything else. Therapy stops, nutrition support stops, and families go into “waiting mode.”
But time is of the essence with eating disorders. Early intervention, even small steps, can make a massive difference.
It doesn’t mean giving up on CAMHS; it means creating structure while you wait,
Prioritizing Parental Self-Care
Step One – Go to the GP and Be Heard
The GP is your first stop, but many parents leave appointments feeling dismissed, especially if their child’s BMI hasn’t dropped to a critical level.
Please remember:
An eating disorder doesn’t start with weight loss.
You can always ask for a second opinion.
Write everything down. Keep a log of who you speak to, what was said, and when. If you can, follow up in writing or email so your concerns are recorded.
Your instinct matters. If something feels wrong, keep pushing.
Understanding Recovery's Path
Step Two, Start Support Early
You don’t need to wait for a diagnosis to get help. In fact, acting early can stop things from escalating.
Here’s what you can do right now:
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Get a nutritional specialist trained in eating disorders, someone like Jenny Tomei can offer meal guidance and structure safely.
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Explore parent education groups like Jenny Langley’s New Maudsley Carers Group, which teaches communication tools and calm response strategies.
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Seek private trauma-informed therapy to bridge the gap before CAMHS begins. It’s not “jumping the queue”, it’s building stability while you wait.
Recognizing Critical Signs
Step Three, Understand What’s Really Happening
Eating disorders are rarely about food. They’re about control, fear, trauma, or neurodivergence , often ADHD, autism, or dyslexia.
As an ADHD therapist who’s been through anorexia myself, I recognise the same dopamine-seeking, goal-driven patterns in many teens I see. The brain is craving order in chaos.
That doesn’t make your child “difficult.” It makes them scared. And recovery starts with helping them feel safe again.
Guiding Your Path to Healing
Supporting Your Child Through the CAMHS Waiting Period
This part is so hard. When your child is refusing food, your protective instincts kick in, your adrenaline spikes, your heart races, and every meal feels like a battlefield.
But as I tell parents in therapy:
Don’t strike when the iron is hot.
If you try to reason or change during a meltdown, you’ll both get burnt.
Wait until the iron is cold, when emotions have settled, and then talk calmly. Focus on safety, not shame. Your calm nervous system helps regulate theirs.
Therapeutic Support in Canterbury
Step Four – Regulate Yourself Before You Regulate Them
In Canterbury, I offer specialized trauma-informed and neurodivergent-affirming therapy designed to support families navigating the challenges of eating disorders. While waiting for NHS treatment, private therapy can provide a sense of stability and hope. My approach focuses on building a safe and structured environment where teens and parents can work towards emotional regulation and healing. By combining clinical expertise with empathy and understanding, I aim to empower families to feel less overwhelmed and more equipped to handle the complexities of recovery.
Guiding Your Recovery Path
Step Five, Build Practical Structure
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Structure helps soothe chaos. Here are small things that make a big difference:
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Keep mealtimes predictable, but low-pressure.
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Choose simple, safe foods yoghurt, soup, toast, not what you think they “should” eat.
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Eat together whenever possible.
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Reduce screen time or mirrors if body checking becomes obsessive.
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Celebrate non-food wins: watching a film together, a walk, a laugh.
You’re building trust,not just feeding.
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Supporting Families in Crisis
Step Six, Don’t Forget Yourself
Many parents I work with realise, through therapy, that they’ve had their own complicated relationship with food, body image, or control. That’s not something to feel ashamed of, it’s human.
Your child learns from your nervous system, not your words. If you start healing your own patterns, through therapy, journalling, or support groups, recovery becomes safer for them, too.
Reach out to BEAT’s Parent Helpline for community support. Or find a counsellor who understands both parent overwhelm and eating disorder recovery.
Understanding Eating Disorders: A Compassionate Approach
Finding Strength in Uncertain Times
Step Seven, Keep Hope Alive
As a parent, facing the uncertainty of a
Recovery isn’t linear. It’s messy, exhausting, and full of setbacks, but it’s possible.
Keep logging what you notice: small wins, medical updates, triggers, behaviours. This diary will be invaluable when CAMHS eventually assess your child.
And remember ➔ You are not failing. You are fighting for your child’s life.
Even when it feels impossible, your presence, persistence, and love are the anchor that keeps them here.
Nurturing Resilience
Trauma-Informed Eating Disorder Therapy in Canterbury
If your child faints, stops drinking fluids, or their pulse slows, please contact your GP or A&E immediately.
You’re not overreacting. These can be signs of medical instability that require urgent care.
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Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in Canterbury. I support teens, adults, and parents using a trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming approach. I combine lived experience with clinical training to help families feel empowered rather than powerless, because recovery starts with understanding, not shame.
