When the Mirror Lies and the Brain Fog Rolls In: Menopause, Identity, and Eating Disorders
Discover a path to healing that honors your unique journey. Embrace compassionate support and transformative tools to rebuild trust in your body and mind.
The Grief That Has No Funeral
The Silent Panic of Change
Menopause and eating disorders often intersect in surprising ways. It’s not just hot flushes and HRT; it’s identity grief, hormone chaos, and sometimes a resurfacing eating disorder in menopause.
That moment, you can’t finish a gym class you’ve done for years.
When the anxiety hits mid-drive, you can’t work out why.
When your jeans don’t fit, your brain calls it a failure.
This is the kind of grief we don’t talk about because there’s no death to mourn. But your sense of self, the energy, the stability, the “old you”, is shifting. For many women, this becomes the perfect storm for menopause eating disorder patterns to emerge.
And for those of us who’ve never named it before? It’s where an eating disorder menopause experience can start.
A silent panic comes when your body stops “doing what it’s told.”
You eat like you always have, but the weight creeps in.
You push yourself at the gym but feel wiped out for days.
Your once-grounding routine now feels like punishment.
Cue the internal battle: restrict harder. Try another diet. Blame your willpower.
But your body isn’t failing. It’s adapting.
And it’s screaming for kindness, not control.
Adaptation Over Control
Rage, Rest, and the Rollercoaster of Hormones
Mood swings aren’t a personality flaw. They’re biochemical. Estrogen drops. Cortisol spikes. Brain fog. Rage. Tears. Panic. Repeat.
For women with ADHD or trauma, this dysregulation feels like drowning.
That’s why rest isn’t laziness; it’s medicine.
And why kindness needs to replace the inner critic.
When menopause and eating disorders combine, this inner chaos can become overwhelming. But you’re not broken; you’re human.
Rediscovering Your True Self
When Health Becomes a Disguise for Control
“I Don’t Recognise Myself Anymore”
Unraveling Midlife Trauma
So many women whisper this in therapy.
The body that’s changed shape.
The face that looks tired.
The person who can’t quite keep up anymore.
This is where disordered eating slips back in, disguised as “health.” Clean eating. Fasting. Exercise addiction. Shame-fueled binges.
Whatever form it takes, it’s the same voice:
Make it stop. It makes me feel in control again.
In midlife, eating disorder menopause cycles often look like extreme restriction followed by guilt and exhaustion.
Understanding the impact of past experiences is crucial in addressing current struggles. Therapy helps in identifying patterns and triggers, allowing for a more profound healing process. By acknowledging and working through these traumas, you can find a path to peace and empowerment.
Trauma Doesn’t Vanish Just Because We Aged
Nourishment Over Numbers
Menopause doesn’t cause eating disorders. But it stirs the pot.
Unresolved trauma, from childhood neglect to body shame can resurface hard.
Hormones bring vulnerability.
Grief brings the trigger.
Trauma is the fire beneath it all.
Trauma-informed therapy helps you heal, not just from past pain, but from the way menopause and eating disorders can re-traumatise the body in midlife.
Nourishment, Not Numbers
This isn’t about going sugar-free. It’s about shifting from punishment to partnership.
Ask yourself:
➔ What helps my mood?
➔ What balances my blood sugar?
➔ What keeps my bones strong?
➔ What helps me sleep?
No more shrinking. No more shame.
Just food as fuel, and compassion as your compass.
Support for eating disorder menopause starts with food safety, not fear.
Reclaim Your Identity
Embrace Your Worth Beyond Appearance
You don’t need to shrink to be worthy.
You’re allowed to be loud. Bold. Messy. Unapologetic.
This new season of life isn’t a dead-end. It’s a doorway.
And if you’re struggling with food, your body, or just feeling like you’ve lost your spark, it’s not your fault. You’re not alone.
If you’re navigating menopause and eating disorders or noticing how perimenopause affects your food habits, there is support. Therapy can help you feel seen, understood, and empowered to rebuild your relationship with food and your body.
Becky Stone
Hi, I’m Becky Stone, a trauma-informed therapist working with adults and teens navigating eating disorders, identity loss, ADHD, and midlife transitions. Based in Canterbury, I offer honest, warm support for women navigating the emotional chaos of menopause. If you’re grieving your old self, battling with food, or trying to feel at home in your body again, I’d love to support you.
“Healing is not about changing who you are; it’s about becoming who you were meant to be.”
Start Your Journey to Healing
You don’t have to do this alone.
You don’t have to “pull yourself together.”
You deserve support that gets it.
