Nobody is perfect, including you, me, and everyone you scroll past on social media.
But when we’re constantly bombarded with highlight reels, perfectly posed photos, and seemingly flawless lives, it’s easy to forget that.
It’s okay not to be OK & it’s time we started saying that more.
it’s okay not to be okay.
There’s a quiet pressure that lives in every scroll.
Be happy. Look amazing. Show your wins.
Don’t talk about sadness. Don’t post your struggles. Don’t be “too much.”
Be happy. Look amazing. Show your wins.
Don’t talk about sadness. Don’t post your struggles. Don’t be “too much.”
But real life? It’s messy, emotional, and not always Instagrammable.
We’ve created a culture where vulnerability is filtered, and the raw, gritty bits of life are left behind.
We’ve created a culture where vulnerability is filtered, and the raw, gritty bits of life are left behind.
You might wake up feeling low, anxious, or not yourself, and then feel guilty because your mood doesn’t match what you see online.
Why We Hide the Truth Online
Why do we hide our true selves online?
Because we’re scared.
Because we’ve been taught that strength means smiling through it.
Because we’re told to “stay positive” when we need to fall apart.
Social media teaches us to curate, not connect.
We hide behind the “good” parts, and in doing so, we isolate ourselves.
But healing starts when we stop pretending.
We hide behind the “good” parts, and in doing so, we isolate ourselves.
But healing starts when we stop pretending.
Comparison Culture
Instagram Isn’t Reality
That perfect photo of someone on a beach in Bali? It’s cropped. Filtered. Maybe even staged.
That happy family Christmas post? It might hide profound exhaustion, grief, or conflict behind the camera.
Instagram is more popular than portrait.
And comparison is its cruellest side effect.
And comparison is its cruellest side effect.
According to a survey of 1,500 young people, Instagram ranked the worst social media app for mental health, especially around body image and self-worth.
The Mental Load of Hiding Your Feelings
Pretending you’re okay when you’re not is exhausting.
Smiling through pain. Keeping up appearances. Acting like everything’s fine because “it’s what people expect.”
Smiling through pain. Keeping up appearances. Acting like everything’s fine because “it’s what people expect.”
For those of us living with grief, trauma, depression, or burnout, this façade becomes a second job.
You might get to the end of the day and collapse, not just from what happened, but from what you hid.
You might get to the end of the day and collapse, not just from what happened, but from what you hid.
You don’t need to wear a mask. You’re allowed to feel everything.
Behind the Filter, Everyone Struggles
We idolise people online as if their lives are perfect, but we forget:
➡ The influencer smiling in a sunset could be battling burnout.
➡ The fitness model may be silently navigating body image issues.
➡ The parent sharing perfect playdates might be crying in the bathroom later.
➡ The influencer smiling in a sunset could be battling burnout.
➡ The fitness model may be silently navigating body image issues.
➡ The parent sharing perfect playdates might be crying in the bathroom later.
What we see isn’t the full story.
And the most “together” people you know may be barely holding on.
The Reality Behind Social Media
Think about the last time you posted online.
Did you share your truth? Or did you share what you thought others wanted to see?
Did you share your truth? Or did you share what you thought others wanted to see?
The sad truth is this:
If you post about joy and success, people celebrate you.
If you post about struggle or sadness too often, people scroll away.
If you post about joy and success, people celebrate you.
If you post about struggle or sadness too often, people scroll away.
It’s no wonder we become hesitant to show our truth. But that doesn’t make your emotions any less valid.
You are allowed to be messy. You are allowed to need support.
Stop Striving for the 'Perfect' Life
There is no such thing as a perfect life.
There is no badge for holding everything in.
There is no award for pretending you’re okay.
There is no badge for holding everything in.
There is no award for pretending you’re okay.
Let go of the illusion that you need to have it all figured out.
Let go of the guilt for not being okay.
Let go of the guilt for not being okay.
You are allowed to be where you are—without shame, without explanation.
Permission to Feel
If no one has told you this recently, let me say it clearly:
You do not have to be happy all the time.
You do not need to be the strong one.
You do not have to compare your worst days to someone else’s best ones.
You do not have to be happy all the time.
You do not need to be the strong one.
You do not have to compare your worst days to someone else’s best ones.
You’re allowed to feel lost, unsure, anxious, sad, even angry.
Feel it. Name it. Let it be there.
Then let someone in.
Feel it. Name it. Let it be there.
Then let someone in.
Let’s Be Real, Together
It’s okay to unfollow accounts that make you feel like you’re not enough.
It’s okay to post the real version of your life.
It’s okay to show up as you are, not as you think you should be.
It’s okay to post the real version of your life.
It’s okay to show up as you are, not as you think you should be.
What if we all stopped pretending?
What if we all told the truth?
What if we gave each other permission to be human?
What if we all told the truth?
What if we gave each other permission to be human?
That’s where healing begins.
There’s Strength in Saying “I’m Not Okay”
There’s a unique kind of strength in speaking your truth.
Not the filtered one. Not the shiny one.
But the real one.
Not the filtered one. Not the shiny one.
But the real one.
Getting out of bed today? That’s a win.
Making it through a hard conversation? A triumph.
Letting yourself cry? Brave.
Making it through a hard conversation? A triumph.
Letting yourself cry? Brave.
You don’t need to prove your worth by pretending everything’s fine.
You are already enough.
You are already enough.
If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Alone
You don’t have to go through it alone.
If you need someone to talk to, reach out.
📞 Call Samaritans on 116 123
📩 Email jo@samaritans.org
If you need someone to talk to, reach out.
📞 Call Samaritans on 116 123
📩 Email jo@samaritans.org
Or talk to a therapist. Like me. I’m here, without judgement.
Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified therapist supporting teens and adults through trauma, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. With a warm, real-world approach, I create a safe space for people who feel overwhelmed by comparison culture, perfectionism, and emotional pressure. If you’re feeling the weight of pretending, I’m here to help.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/
