Embrace Your Journey to Healing
Why Body Comments Hurt, Even When They’re “Nice”
➔ You’ve worked so hard to feel safe in your body.
➔ You’re learning to eat without guilt.
➔ You’re trying to see your body as more than a number.
And then someone says:
“Wow, you look amazing, have you lost weight?”
or
“You look much better now you’ve got a bit of fat on you.”
or
“Are you sure you want seconds?”
Here’s the truth: body comments, even well-meaning ones, hit different when you’re in recovery. Whether you’ve been through binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, obesity, or a mix of it all… It’s not about vanity. It’s about survival. And no one gets to narrate your recovery but you.
Why People Comment on Bodies in the First Place
➡️ They’re often uncomfortable in their own bodies
➡️ They’ve grown up in diet culture and don’t know better
➡️ They think compliments are motivating (spoiler: they’re not)
➡️ It’s a way they learned to connect, but it doesn’t land well anymore
Understanding Your Path to Recovery
What You Can Say (Without Burning Bridges)
Here are some scripts and responses you can use depending on the situation:
1. The Polite Redirect
“I’m working on focusing less on appearance these days. How have you been?”
This lets you maintain a connection without absorbing the comment.
2. The Honest Boundary
“I’m in recovery, and body comments, even kind ones, are hard for me to hear right now.”
You can even add:
“I know you mean well, but I’d love it if we could focus on other things.”
3. The Reflective Reframe
“I know we’re used to talking about bodies like this, but I’m learning to celebrate myself beyond how I look.”
This gently invites others into your new mindset.
Neurodivergent Note: Why It’s Especially Hard for Some Brains
Discover Your Path to Wellness
Family Dynamics: When It’s Grandma, Mum, or Uncle Alan
Try these gentle yet firm responses:
🗣️ “I’m working on not moralising food or weight right now, I’d love your support.”
🗣️ “I know you care about me, but talking about bodies is something I’m stepping away from.”
🗣️ “There are so many better things to compliment, I’d rather be seen for who I am, not how I look.”
Pro tip: Repeat it. More than once. People who’ve spent decades normalising this language will take time to shift. That doesn’t mean your boundary isn’t valid.
Begin Your Healing Journey
The Genetics and Generational Patterns
➡️ If your parents were dieters, you probably absorbed the belief that thinner = better.
➡️ If your grandparents praise ‘discipline’ or ‘good choices,’ it might come with an undertone of approval based on food or size.
➡️ Recovery often involves breaking the chain, and it’s emotionally exhausting.
That’s why validation from others can’t be your only anchor.
It has to come from you.
From your values.
From your relationships.
From who you are, not just how you’re seen.
triggering comments about weight
Try This Instead: Non-Appearance Validation
Let’s validate differently. Things to focus on this summer:
-
“You’re so thoughtful, I love how you show up for people.”
-
“You’re funny, your sense of humour makes this so much better.”
-
“You bring such calm energy to a room.”
-
“Your strength shows in how you’ve handled this year.”
Tip: Ask your close circle to compliment you in your love language. (Quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, etc.) It’s a game-changer.
Final Thought
Your body is not a conversation starter.
Your recovery is not for public comment.
You are allowed to say no to commentary, comparison, or compliments that hurt more than they help.
Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in Canterbury, working with both teens and adults across the UK. My approach is grounded in compassion, informed by lived experience, and supported by professional training. I specialise in helping people through anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, body image struggles, and the complex relationship so many of us have with food.
As a neurodivergent therapist, I bring a deep understanding of how ADHD and autism can shape the recovery journey. Whether you’re navigating food rules, sensory issues, identity loss, or the shame that so often comes with disordered eating, I offer a non-judgmental space to explore it all, at your pace, in your way.
Recovery isn’t about perfection. It’s about feeling safe in your body, trusting yourself again, and finding freedom on your terms. I believe therapy should feel real, honest, and tailored, because no two journeys are ever the same.
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