The truth is we all at some point will talk ourselves down, we’ll pick out certain parts of our bodies that we hate and constantly think about ways we can change them. Going through life thinking that people might not be attracted to us because of a certain imperfection. Always thinking that what we hate about ourselves is the worst thing but in reality, it’s such a small matter.

Wanting to look in the mirror and it instantly transforms you into what you perceive as ‘perfect’ one that would tell you just how good you look every day. But instead, you look in that mirror and you don’t like what’s staring back at you, viewing every single imperfection closely. Criticising the stretch marks on your stomach, your thick thighs, maybe you don’t like the fact you have a flat chest or an untoned stomach but the truth is we’re all unique in our own ways. We all have this habit of putting ourselves down and not realising it, but it can be extremely damaging.

You’re your own worst critic, which means that pointing out self-perceived flaws is something that comes naturally to you but to someone else, it doesn’t always matter. We have days that are positive and some that are negative, sometimes we get up and feel ok about ourselves, some we feel confident and some we hate starting in the mirror. It all comes down to a negative mindset, the negative self-talk that takes place in an individual. The deception of the word ‘perfect’ clings on when in reality that doesn’t exist. We all have imperfections, just like we all have parts we love about ourselves. If you’re one of those people that constantly feel yourself talking negatively about your body then take note of these 5 steps to help you try to get out of that cycle.

1) Don’t fixate on the definition of perfect

three assorted magazines on white textile

Photo by Alex Maloney on Unsplash

This is something many of us do and it’s something that can have such a negative impact on the way we look at ourselves. Looking at magazines, ads, social media profiles and seeing these people with what is considered ‘perfect’ bodies. It slowly starts becoming this cycle of fixating on that idea but in reality that’s not how it is at all. It’s a whole load of editing, the right angle and so many more elements that are made to ensure that that picture in that magazine looks the way it does.

There is no such thing as perfect and once you can acknowledge that yourself is when you’ll start reliasing that what you see in the ads or on social media isn’t reality.

2) Practise

green leafed plant

Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

Even though the negative thoughts may stand out the most it does not mean that there is not something we like about ourselves. So, don’t be scared of the mirror instead look into it and picture what you see that you like about yourself, perhaps it’s your eyes, your skin, hair colour, your legs etc. Practise is what makes perfect and ensuring that you keep staring in the mirror and doing that daily it will be able to then stick with you.

If there are certain things you like but you think it could be changed to ensure that you have a deeper appreciation for it then that’s ok. In the end, we all have something we love, but we all have things we want to change. It’s ok to have down days but the worst thing is getting into that cycle of continuously hating on yourself and finding excessive ways to change them rather than doing it in a safe and healthy way.

Practise every day loving what you see that little bit more. The way you look at yourself in a positive light will not only help you but it’ll help your mental health and your body.

3) Wear the clothes you love

assorted apparels

Photo by Nick de Partee on Unsplash

We all have clothes that are used for cosy purposes, ones that are far to small from years ago and that one outfit that is so nice but we get it out once in a blue moon. But the truth is if you’re not dressing how you want to because you’re worried about what other people think, or you don’t feel you have the right body or look too then that’s wrong. Everyone should have their own style and own it, whether that’s casual, goth, vintage, tomboy, sophisticated and so many more. There are certain clothes you may love but people you know hate and that’s ok.

You need to find your fashion type, go to a store and if something immediately catches your eye then purchase it. If you want to try out certain styles then go ahead, find what suits you and your personality and embrace it. You’re the one to decide what you want to wear, what makes you feel good and confident. Only wear clothes you feel good in and love that’s what will make you feel better in the end.

4) Clear out those negative thoughts

man wearing black long-sleeved shirt

Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash

The best way to feel good about yourself is by pushing the negative thoughts to the side which is a lot easier said than done. But working on your mind and trying ways to help you push through the negativity is what will lead you to live a happier life. Awareness is key, you need to be able to acknowledge what you’re seeing and what you’re disliking and why.

Perhaps the reason you feel like this is because of past trauma, being bullied, abused, neglected, rejected, or something similar. Which then leads the individual to feel disgusted within themselves because someone might have pointed out a certain imperfection that was not that bad for them but then as people began to dig it out more it began to stand out significantly. The best thing to think of is that you’re putting all the bad memories all them past traumas that made you feel like that in a jar locked tight and not being able to escape and discard of them.

Once they’ve begun to clear out, make room for all the new and positive thoughts to ensure that when you see yourself you’ll smile back.

5) Make excercise about feeling good

shillouette photo of person standing at the peak

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash

Way too many times we’re roped into the ‘if you try this you’ll have a six-pack in a month’ or ‘if you try this tea you’ll have a toned stomach’ in no time. Which again gives people that perception of the fact that excercise is only used for looking good. Fair enough, there are certain exercises that target certain muscles that can change your physique but they take a lot of time and training to be able too.

But forget about the fact that excercise is used as a weight-loss tool or a way of shaping your body to get this idea of the ‘perfect figure’. Instead, think of excercise as something that makes you sweat, makes you feel energetic and happy and makes your body feel incredible after. It’s a natural way to reduce stress, keep us healthy and make us feel good throughout. Excercise is a way for you to love your body, a sense of feeling accomplished after completing an excercise. It’s not something that is used to change your body or fight with it.

There is nothing wrong with loving yourself, embrace what you have and enjoy it!

If you’re looking for any online counselling whether you’re a parent and you’re looking for your children, you yourself need it or your a student or anyone that is struggling at this time, then please do not hesitate to contact Becky, you can access contact details here. Check out the website for more information and what there is to offer.


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