Focus on What You Do Do: A Kinder Way to Build Motivation
Embrace a new path towards healing with personalized support that empowers you to rebuild trust in yourself and your journey.
Why We Overlook Our Successes
When was the last time you sat down and felt genuinely proud of yourself?
Not because you ran a marathon or ticked off a massive to-do list
But because you showed up.
Our brains are wired to spot what we didn’t do.
➔ The laundry that’s still in the basket.
➔ The message we forgot to reply to.
➔ The walk we meant to go on but didn’t.
But what if the secret to building motivation isn’t to push harder…
It’s to notice what you did do instead?
You brushed your teeth today? That’s a win.
You got dressed.
You sent that one message.
You got the kids to school (even if you forgot the PE kit).
You reached out to Southern Water even though that leak’s been sitting there for weeks (yep, speaking from experience).
You set a timer and tried something you’d been avoiding.
These things count. More than you know.
Why our brains skip over the good stuff
From a neuroscience point of view, we’re not wired to celebrate tiny wins.
We’re wired for survival, so spotting problems, risks, and threats often comes more naturally than recognising joy, progress, or achievement.
This is especially true if you’re:
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Neurodivergent (ADHD, autism, dyslexia)
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Recovering from trauma or perfectionism
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Used to feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”
So even on the days when you do a lot… your brain might still whisper,
“You could have done more.”
That voice? It’s not the truth. It’s a pattern. And we can shift it.
The Power of Small Steps
The list you need to write isn’t what you haven’t done , it’s what you have
Start a list right now. Call it:
“Things I Did Today That Actually Count”
Here’s mine from the other day:
✔️ Sent an email I’d been putting off
✔️ Had a shower even though my head was noisy
✔️ Showed up to CrossFit even though I wanted to quit halfway through
✔️ Watched Paddington Bear with my grandson and stayed present
Notice how nothing on that list is dramatic.
But every single thing was part of building trust with myself.
Understanding Eating Disorders
Compassionate Therapy for Lasting Change
If you’re someone who freezes, spirals, or avoids when life gets overwhelming, try this.
I use it myself and recommend it to clients all the time.
Do one thing you’ve been avoiding
Just one. Set a timer for 5 minutes. See if you can start, not finish.
Send the form. Empty the bin. Check the leak. Make the call.
That small start will reduce shame.
Do two small achievable things
These could be:
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Respond to a message.
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Put your medication out.
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Take a break and drink water.
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Fold two items of washing.
We want completion not perfection. Tick them off and let your brain feel the reward.
Write your wins down
Seriously. Stick them on a whiteboard. A note in your phone.
The more often your brain sees evidence of “I can,”
The less power the “I can’t” stories will hold.
My approach is centered around rebuilding trust in yourself and your relationship with food. Whether you’re dealing with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating, I provide a safe, non-judgmental environment where you can explore your feelings and challenges. Together, we’ll work towards a healthier, more balanced life.
Building Trust in Yourself
You don’t have to be perfect, you just need to show up
Showing up in small ways is not “lazy” or “unproductive.”
It’s how we regulate our nervous systems. It’s how we learn to trust ourselves again.
You’re not failing because you haven’t hit some imaginary gold standard.
You’re human. And honestly, you’re doing better than you think.
Want help creating your own “Do List”?
If you’d like support building motivation, managing overwhelm, or finding a structure that works for your brain, I offer therapy and coaching with:
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Tools tailored for neurodivergent clients
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Support for perfectionism and people-pleasing
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Eating disorder recovery with a focus on self-worth, not shame
Let’s work together on building a life that feels doable again.
Thinking About Therapy Again? You’re So Welcome Here.
If it’s been a while and you’ve been wondering about coming back to therapy, this is your gentle nudge. Whether life has felt overwhelming, you’ve lost a bit of momentum, or you want to feel more grounded again, you don’t have to do it alone.
No pressure. No expectations. Just a safe space waiting for you to step back in, whenever you’re ready.
Let’s start where you are.
Tap below and let me know how you’re doing. I’d love to reconnect.
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If this blog made you feel seen, I share trauma-informed, real-life tools every week on recovery, motivation, neurodivergence, and showing up without shame. No spam. Just words that lift you up.
