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Social Overwhelm and ADHD: The Thought Is Worse Than the Doing
Struggling with ADHD and social anxiety? This blog explores how one unexpected CrossFit competition helped me challenge avoidance, silence the self-doubt, and show up, even when the fear screamed louder than logic.
“The thought is worse than the doing.”
That’s what I told myself walking into the gym that morning. Heart pounding. ADHD brain is on overdrive. Overthinking every possible way things could go wrong.
But here’s what happened instead ➔ growth, connection, laughter, and a moment I’ll never forget.
Embrace the Challenge
The Story
Last week, I signed up for a CrossFit competition at the very last minute. Classic ADHD behaviour: impulsive decision followed by a tidal wave of anxiety.
I forgot to register on time. Received a message stating that all pairings had been made. Then suddenly, I’m paired up with two strangers. Both are half my age. Cue: spiralling ADHD and social anxiety.
➔ Will they like me?
➔ Will I zone out in the noise and forget what I’m meant to be doing?
➔ What if I feel stupid or freeze?
It was a classic case of social anxiety with ADHD, where your brain catastrophizes before you’ve even walked in the room.
The Neuroscience of Overwhelm
Mornings are tough for many people with ADHD and social anxiety in adults. Your cortisol is higher, executive functioning is slower, and your inner critic is louder.
Throw in:
➔ Loud noise
➔ New environment
➔ Strangers
➔ Physical performance
…and your nervous system goes straight into “threat mode.”
The good news? Knowing it’s neurological, not personal, can help you regulate.
How I Managed It
Here’s what helped me move through it:
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I voiced it.
“If I zone out, just tell me what to do.”
➔ This calmed my ADHD social anxiety almost instantly.
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I asked for help.
Told the coach I didn’t know my teammates.
➔ Removed one layer of sensory overload.
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I dropped the mask.
One teammate said, “I’m so glad you said that, I feel the same.”
➔ It reminded me that social anxiety ADHD struggles are more common than we think.
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I reframed the thoughts.
Just because it feels scary doesn’t mean it is dangerous.
Explore Compassionate Healing
What I Tell My Clients
I always say:
➔ Do one thing a day that makes you uncomfortable.
That morning, this was mine. The confidence didn’t come before the act. It came from doing it.
If you live with social anxiety with ADHD, it’s not about waiting to feel ready; it’s about building evidence that you can survive the discomfort.
The Missed Chance
A friend didn’t speak up in the group chat. Later, she messaged: “I wish I’d done it.”
And I reminded her (and myself):
➔ No one reads your mind.
➔ If you don’t speak up, people assume you don’t want to be involved.
➔ Don’t let ADHD and social anxiety in adults make you invisible.
Your voice is allowed in the room.
Find Your Inner Strength
Cortisol: A Reframe
Cortisol isn’t always bad. That burst of adrenaline? It helped me show up, tune in, and power through. When you live with ADHD social anxiety, stress can either paralyse you or push you, and building structure helps tip it toward the latter.
Structure, honesty, and support are your scaffolding.
Reclaim Your Relationship with Food
What You Can Do Next
Here’s what I want you to take away:
➔ Thought ≠ facts
➔ Ask for help, it’s a strength
➔ Regulate your body first
➔ Drop the mask, connection lives in honesty
If you’re living with social anxiety ADHD, remember: your bravery might be the thing someone else needed to see.
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Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a neurodivergent therapist based in Canterbury. I support teens and adults navigating ADHD, social anxiety, and disordered eating. Whether you’re masking in public, overthinking every interaction, or struggling to find your voice—I get it. I bring my lived experience and clinical training into each session. Let’s make therapy feel human again. ➔ Get in touch here
