You’re Not Broken: Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Finding Your Voice
You’re Not Broken
Rebuilding self-esteem, setting boundaries, and learning to trust your voice again.
Embrace Self-Worth
Reconnect with Your Inner Voice
Set Healing Boundaries
Listen to Your Inner Wisdom
You Are Whole, Not Broken
There was a time, years before I became a therapist, when I didn’t have a voice.
I didn’t even realise it at the time. I was the girl who said yes to everything. The one who smiled even when she was crumbling inside. I needed people to like me. I had to feel accepted. If someone disapproved of me, I felt physically sick.
I was exhausted by my people-pleasing. I had no idea who I was, only what people wanted me to be.
Boundaries as a Path to Healing
The Signs of Codependency
This pattern, I now know, had a name: codependency.
It might sound clinical, but it’s something so many of us fall into, especially when we’ve grown up without consistent emotional validation or space to express ourselves.
Here are some signs that you’re caught in a codependent loop:
➔ Constantly saying “I don’t know” when asked your opinion
➔ Needing others to validate your choices before you act
➔ Watching people’s faces for cues before you speak
➔ Feeling deeply unsettled when someone pulls away or disapproves
➔ Thinking, “What do they want me to do?” rather than, “What do I want?”
The Turning Point
One of my biggest turning points came when I realised this:
I’m not broken. I’ve just been starving my self-esteem.
And for me, as someone with ADHD and dyslexia, self-doubt had become second nature. I often wobbled, even when I was sure of myself. I’d shrink myself to avoid judgment. I’d perform, mask, smile, disappear.
It took years to understand I didn’t need to keep auditioning for love.
Affirmations for Self-Acceptance
Boundaries Are Not Harsh, They’re Healing
As I’ve grown into myself, I’ve learned that:
➔ You don’t need to please everyone
➔ You will be too much for some people (and that’s okay)
➔ Being a bit like Marmite means the right people value you
➔ Your job isn’t to be liked, it’s to be honest
Building boundaries isn’t about walls. It’s about clarity. It’s about trusting your voice again and making choices that honour you, not the fear of being left behind.
Understanding Your Journey
The Question That Changed Everything
Here’s the game-changer I use with every client (and still use myself):
“Is this person good enough for me?”
Not: “Am I good enough for them?”
Ask it of friends. Of family. Of anyone in your orbit.
It’s not about being harsh, it’s about self-respect.
Because when you stop begging for crumbs, you start nourishing yourself.
Embrace Your True Identity
What I Tell My Clients Every Day
To every one of my clients (and to myself, on the harder days), I say this:
➔ Your feelings are valid
➔ You are not broken
➔ You are allowed to take up space
➔ You don’t need permission to trust yourself
➔ You’re not too much, you’re just learning how to be fully you
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A Bit About Me
I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in the UK. I work with both teens and adults, offering a calm and non-judgmental space to explore what recovery truly means, on your terms.
With lived experience of ADHD and disordered eating, I bring a real-world understanding to my work. My approach is grounded, flexible, and trauma-informed, helping you reconnect with your voice, your boundaries, and your sense of self-worth. You don’t need to be perfect, just ready to be honest.
