Appearance Over Assets: A New Era for Young Men
Why Boys and Men Are Now Struggling with Body Image Too
For years, body image and eating disorders were framed as “a girls’ problem.” But in my therapy room, that narrative no longer fits. I’m seeing more and more young men, boys still in school, rugby players, university students, battling the mirror, the gym, and themselves.
The truth is ➔ boys are under increasing pressure to shape their bodies into an “ideal” that is just as toxic as the thigh gaps and bikini bodies promoted to girls. And we need to start talking about it.
From Assets to Aesthetics
From Wealth to Workouts – A Shift in Status
Historically, men’s value was measured through what they could attain, wealth, work, power, reputation.
-
A man’s suit, job title, or car were symbols of status.
-
His body image was rarely considered part of the conversation.
But today, for teenage boys and young men who don’t yet have access to wealth or power, the most accessible “currency” of worth is ➔ appearance.
Gym Culture: A Double-Edged Sword
The Social Dynamics of Fitness Among Young Men
The Influence of Social Media
The Rise of Gym Culture
Walk into any gym, and you’ll see them: groups of boys clustering in the weights section, scrolling on their phones between sets.
-
On the surface, it looks like camaraderie
-
Underneath, it’s comparison and competition, Who can lift more? Who looks bigger? Who looks leaner?
The issue is not the gym itself. Exercise can be healthy, empowering, and grounding. The problem is when self-worth becomes dependent on a six-pack.
When Comparison Becomes Obsession
I often get asked: “Can you be underweight and still healthy?”
The answer is no. When someone slips under a healthy BMI range, it isn’t just fat being lost ➔ it’s muscle, organs, bone density.
For boys chasing leanness, or men trying to shred fat at all costs, the damage can be long-term:
-
Early osteoporosis in their 20s
-
Low testosterone
-
Increased anxiety and depression
The number on the scale isn’t a measure of health, it’s often a warning sign.
The Emotional Toll of Silence
Men’s body image struggles are often shrouded in silence, largely due to societal stigma. Many men feel pressured to conform to traditional notions of masculinity, which discourage open discussions about body image issues. Phrases like ‘man up’ or ‘that’s a girl’s problem’ perpetuate the idea that men should not express vulnerability, leaving them isolated and unsupported. However, the prevalence of male eating disorders is rising, highlighting the urgent need to address these issues openly.
Building Resilience in Recovery
What Recovery Looks Like for Men
Recovery isn’t about ignoring the gym or hating your body. It’s about:
-
Building resilience that isn’t dependent on comparison.
-
Creating space for feelings, not suppressing them.
-
Learning to value your body for what it does, not just how it looks.
In therapy, I help men untangle shame from sadness and rebuild trust in relationships, because real strength comes from connection, not comparison.
Take the First Step Towards Healing
Ready to break free from the chains of body image struggles? Discover how therapy can empower you to reclaim your self-worth. Book a free consultation with Becky today and explore trauma-informed support tailored to your needs. Whether you’re seeking guidance in Canterbury or beyond, we’re here to help you on your journey to recovery.
Meet Becky Stone, Your Supportive Therapist
Hello, I’m Becky Stone, a dedicated eating disorder therapist based in Canterbury. With a compassionate and trauma-informed approach, I specialise in supporting teens and adults, including boys and men, who face challenges with body image and gym pressure. My qualifications and personal experiences equip me to provide empathetic and effective therapy, helping clients navigate their recovery journey with confidence and care.
As a neurodivergent-affirming therapist, I understand the unique struggles faced by my clients. I offer flexible recovery tools, such as the Recovery Record app, to support your healing process. My goal is to help you rebuild trust in yourself and your body, fostering a positive and sustainable path to wellness. Let’s work together to create a future where you feel empowered and valued for who you truly are.
Join Our Supportive Community
Receive weekly insights and encouragement on your journey to recovery and self-worth. Our newsletter offers compassionate guidance and practical tips to help you feel empowered and understood. Sign up now to stay connected and inspired.
