Unmasking the Hidden Struggles of ADHD
“Why Didn’t Anyone Notice I Had ADHD?”
The invisible reality of masking, misdiagnosis, and finally being seen
The Untold Story of Many Women
The Story So Many Women Know
It starts with a whisper:
“You’re doing great.”
“You’re just sensitive.”
“You’re overthinking again
But behind the smile, behind the achievements, behind the people-pleasing, was burnout.
For years, I didn’t know I was masking. I didn’t know I had ADHD.
And the world didn’t know either.
This blog is for the women who always looked fine and were silently falling apart.
The Art of Masking: A Survival Mechanism
What Masking Looks Like in Women with ADHD
Masking isn’t pretending.
It’s surviving.
🌀 Always being ‘on’ in social settings
🌀 Over-apologising and perfectionism
🌀 Forcing yourself to fit in (even when it hurts)
🌀 Rehearsing conversations in your head
🌀 Hiding overwhelm behind a smile
Many women with ADHD become exceptional copers, until they can’t anymore.
Why Girls Often Go Undiagnosed
The Silent Struggle with ADHD
ADHD in girls is missed because we’re taught to be:
✔ Quiet
✔ Good
✔ Helpful
✔ Not too much
But inside, we’re experiencing:
– Racing thoughts
– Sensory overload
– Emotional dysregulation
– Social exhaustion
– Deep shame when we can’t keep up
Instead of support, many of us got labels: “lazy,” “dramatic,” “disorganised,” “moody.”
The Consequences of Masking
What Happens When the Mask Starts to Crack
ADHD burnout is real.
For me, it came as:
💥 Chronic exhaustion
💥 Shutdowns after social events
💥 Anxiety around food and body image
💥 Deep self-criticism
When you spend your whole life trying to fit a mould, it’s no wonder your nervous system crashes.
The Importance of the Right Therapist
The Power of Being Seen by the Right Therapist
One of the most healing moments in therapy is when someone says:
“You don’t have to perform here. I see you.”
For neurodivergent women, therapy needs to go beyond the textbook.
It must include:
🔸 Understanding of masking
🔸 Trauma-informed language
🔸 Tools that suit YOUR brain
🔸 A safe place to unmask, slowly
Understanding Your Journey
If You’re Wondering Whether You Might Have ADHD…
You’re not being dramatic.
You’re not making excuses.
👉 You’re possibly neurodivergent.
👉 And you’ve done a bloody good job surviving in a system that wasn’t built for your brain.
Diagnosis is a beginning, not an end.
It’s permission to know yourself deeper, and heal the parts of you that were misunderstood.
Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, an ADHD and eating disorder therapist based in the UK.
I work with women and teens across the country who feel like they’re finally putting the puzzle together. I was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia after years of confusion, burnout, and people-pleasing.
Now I help neurodivergent women rebuild their self-worth, set boundaries, and honour their brilliant brains, without shame.
Join Our Supportive Community
If this blog resonated with you, you’ll love my weekly emails.
I send honest, trauma-informed support straight to your inbox, focused on recovery, self-worth, and the things we all need to hear. No fluff. No spam. Just guidance that helps.
