ADHD and Gaslighting: How to Trust Yourself Again
Discover the path to self-assurance and clarity in a world that often questions your reality. Embrace your journey to rebuild trust in yourself and your instincts.
Navigating the Complexities of Self-Trust
Have you ever watched something on TV and thought…
“Something about that doesn’t sit right”, but you can’t quite explain why.
Watching I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! Recently, there were moments in the jungle that left me feeling unsettled.
Not because anything obvious happened.
But because something just felt… off.
And it got me thinking.
When You Don’t Trust Your Own Mind
Have you ever struggled to trust:
- your memory
- your emotions
- your gut instinct
That funny feeling that something didn’t feel right…
but you brush it off?
You tell yourself:
- “It’s probably a misunderstanding”
- “I’m overreacting”
- “I always get things wrong anyway”
This is something I hear all the time in therapy.
And it links deeply with ADHD self-doubt in relationships.
Understanding ADHD and Memory Challenges
The Neuroscience of ADHD: Memory and Confusion
ADHD isn’t just about focus.
It affects:
- working memory (holding information in the moment)
- emotional regulation
- how we interpret social situations
This is why things like:
- ADHD misremembering
- second-guessing conversations
- feeling confused after interactions
…are actually really common.
Your brain is trying to piece things together quickly, while also managing overwhelm.
So, when communication is unclear or inconsistent?
It can feel incredibly disorientating.
Understanding ADHD Beyond Focus
ADHD isn’t just about focus.
It affects:
• working memory (holding information in the moment)
• emotional regulation
• how we interpret social situations
This is why things like ADHD, misremembering, or second-guessing conversations are so common.
When communication feels unclear or inconsistent, your brain is trying to “fill in the gaps”.
That’s where confusion can creep in.
And that confusion can feel incredibly disorientating.
Understanding Your Journey
Why ADHD Can Make Gaslighting Hit Harder
Let’s gently name something here.
When there’s already:
- self-doubt
- low confidence
- difficulty trusting your own interpretation
It can make someone more vulnerable to:
- emotional manipulation
- gaslighting in relationships
- even situations where people may (consciously or not) be weaponising ADHD
That doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.
It means your brain has been taught to question itself.
Did I Imagine That?” A Personal Story
There’s a moment in my life I often come back to.
An ex-boyfriend bought me a bracelet for my 30th birthday.
I was over the moon.
A Gift with Hidden Truths
I didn’t even realise at the time it was meant to be a Tiffany bracelet, I just thought it was beautiful. My friends were the ones saying, “Becky, wow…”
The Unveiling of Reality
Over time, it started to change.
The colour faded. It began to peel.
So I sent it off to be checked.
And that’s when I found out…
It was fake.
feeling crazy in a relationship ADHD
The Confusion That Follows
When I brought it up, I expected honesty.
Instead, it got turned back on me.
I was told:
I hadn’t looked after it properly
I’d worn perfume
It was my fault
And I remember that feeling so clearly.
That internal voice saying:
“Something isn’t right here”
But at the same time:
“Maybe it is me…”
That is the space where ADHD and gaslighting can collide.
The Disorientating Loop
Questioning Reality: A Personal Reflection
You start to feel:
- confused
- unsure
- like you can’t tell what’s real
You might laugh it off:
“I’m just a bit ditzy”
“I’m too sensitive”
But underneath?
There’s a quiet erosion of trust in yourself.
A Moment of Clarity
The Turning Point
What changed everything for me was therapy.
At the time, I was training to be a counsellor.
And slowly, my eyes started to open.
I realised I wasn’t “too sensitive.”
I was in a relationship where my reality was being questioned.
That relationship didn’t last much longer after that.
But what stayed with me…
was the impact it had on my ability to trust myself.
ADHD Isn’t Just About Focus
ADHD can also be about:
losing trust in your internal voice
disconnecting from your gut instinct
constantly second-guessing yourself
And when that happens…
You can end up feeling like:
- You’re always wrong
- You need reassurance
- You need someone else to tell you what’s real
Rebuilding Trust in Yourself
This is something I work on a lot with clients.
They often look at me and ask:
“What do you think I should do?”
And I gently bring it back to them:
“What does your gut instinct say?”
Sometimes they can’t hear it.
And that’s okay.
So we slow it down.
feeling crazy in a relationship ADHD
A Simple Practice I Often Share
If you feel unsure:
go to bed
Sleep on it
wake up the next morning
write down what you feel
Not what you think.
Not what someone else has told you.
Just the feeling.
Keep writing.
Because your body often knows before your mind catches up.
Your Gut Instinct Is Your Second Brain
There’s growing research around the gut-brain connection.
Your gut instinct isn’t “just a feeling.”
It’s your nervous system picking up on:
safety
threat
inconsistency
You don’t need to over-explain it.
You don’t need to justify it.
Sometimes:
“Something feels off” is enough.
If This Feels Familiar
If you recognise yourself in this…
If you’ve ever felt:
- confused in a relationship
- unsure of your own memory
- like you can’t trust your reactions
Please know:
You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re not “getting it wrong.”
You may just have learnt not to trust yourself.
Rebuilding Your Inner Strength
And That Can Be Rebuilt
With the right support, awareness, and space…
You can:
- Reconnect with your intuition
- Rebuild your self-trust
- feel grounded in your own reality again
Becky Stone
Becky Stone is a qualified therapist based in Canterbury, specialising in trauma-informed Eating Disorder treatment for teens and adults. She offers both in-person and online therapy across the UK, supporting clients with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and body image challenges.
Her approach is neurodivergent-affirming and compassionate, helping clients rebuild self-worth, trust themselves again, and feel more in control of their lives.
Helping you trust yourself again when everything feels confusing
When You’re Ready, You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If this blog resonated with you…
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:
- “Did I imagine that?”
- “Why do I always doubt myself?”
- “I just want to feel sure again…”
You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
I offer a calm, supportive space where we can gently explore what’s been happening for you, especially if ADHD, self-doubt, or relationship confusion has left you feeling unsure of yourself.
Together, we can start rebuilding trust in your thoughts, your feelings, and your gut instinct, at your pace.
