As a therapist, I’ve done the research. As a mum and a neurodivergent adult, I’ve lived it. But nothing prepared me for how much emotion would come up in that assessment.

I was anxious before the call, not just a little nervous, but cortisol-surging, overthinking everything, and need-a-nervous-wee kind of anxious.

I kept thinking:

What if they say I don’t have ADHD?

What if I’m just broken?

And suddenly, all those moments,  the supermarket meltdowns, the dinner decision paralysis, the zoning out at CrossFit, the one-to-one jokes because “someone has to adopt Becky again today”… they came rushing in.

Because for so long, I’ve carried this question:

Why is life so much more complicated for me?

Getting Bullied in Professional Settings with Undiagnosed ADHD

I’ve been in training courses and work environments where I felt bullied.

Misunderstood.

Shamed for not “just getting it.”

I was treated like I was difficult or lazy or too much.

And no one ever asked why. It’s heartbreaking. And it’s far too familiar, especially for women, especially for those of us masking or coping our way through

The assessor was incredible, calm, human, and warm. She didn’t probe too far, but she asked me one question I wasn’t ready for:

“Have you experienced trauma?” I burst into tears. Because yes, I have. And I know many of you reading this have done so, too. She took her time. She listened.

She acknowledged the depth of the forms my mum and son-in-law filled in, which showed what I sometimes miss about myself.

And when she said:

“You have combined-type ADHD, both hyperactivity and inattention,” The tears just fell. Tears of relief. Because finally, I had an answer.

Finally, I had my why