Navigating the Intersection of ADHD and Menopause
Why ADHD Hits Harder During Menopause (and What Actually Helps)
Discover the untold stories of women balancing the challenges of ADHD and menopause, and learn how to reclaim your life with compassion and understanding.
The Overlooked Journey
The Breakdown You Didn’t See Coming
There’s a moment some of us reach in our 40s. You’re sitting in your car. Or the gym. Or the edge of your bed. And suddenly, you just… can’t.
You can’t cry. Can’t think. Can’t function.
But you’re still expected to be the reliable mum, the friendly colleague, the grown woman who has it together.
This is the collision point for many women with undiagnosed ADHD and menopause.
ADHD That Went Unnoticed for Years
Growing up, it wasn’t called ADHD.
It was “disruptive.” “Daydreamer.” “Too sensitive.” “Lazy.”
I was that girl who couldn’t sit still in school, who was always late, who forgot things constantly? But it was never picked up.
So I masked. I overcompensated. I performed “togetherness” for decades.
Until menopause stripped it all away.
Understanding Exhaustion
What Happens When the Mask Drops?
Menopause is a hormonal overhaul. And for ADHDers, hormones have always played a role in regulation. When those hormones shift, the executive function crashes.
➔ I forgot how to do simple tasks
➔ I couldn’t stop crying
➔ I’d zone out mid-sentence
➔ I was overspending, overstimulated, and undernourished
➔ I couldn’t even shut the Hoover away properly
It wasn’t just “hormones.” It was the scaffolding of my survival mechanisms falling apart.
Dopamine's Role in Chaos
“Lazy”? No. Exhausted.
The shame is real.
We internalise the idea that we’re not trying hard enough. But what’s actually happening is nervous system burnout.
Women with ADHD in menopause aren’t lazy. They are exhausted from years of pretending to be fine. From carrying the load. From never being allowed to rest.
Rethinking Support Systems
The Link Between Dopamine and Midlife Chaos
Midlife ADHD shows up in unusual ways:
➔ Impulsive spending (two pairs of Crocs in one night)
➔ Emotional eating or restriction
➔ Over-exercising, over-committing, overthinking
➔ Zoning out at work or in public
➔ Feeling “lost” without your children or routines
All of this is the brain’s way of chasing dopamine. What we need is regulation, not punishment.
Effective Strategies for Managing ADHD and Menopause
Navigating the Challenges with Practical Solutions
The Role of Hormonal Treatments in Women's Health
Why Traditional Support Doesn’t Work
GPs often miss this.
Many only get two days of menopause training across seven years of study. And ADHD? That’s still wildly under-researched in adult women.
Instead of being supported, we’re offered antidepressants and told to just get on with it.
But without understanding why this is happening, many women spiral deeper.
What Actually Helps
Here’s what’s helped my clients (and me):
➔ Structure with flexibility – scheduling meals, sleep, and rest, but allowing space for chaos
➔ Magnesium & white noise – to wind down overstimulated nervous systems
➔ One joy every day – something to look forward to that isn’t “productive”
➔ Safe therapy – where you’re allowed to bounce around, cry, swear, and not be the good girl
Understanding the Impact of the Coil and HRT
Medical Gaslighting: A Hidden Barrier to Women's Health
The Mirena coil changed my life.
However, the government is now suggesting that it lasts 7 years instead of 4, not for our well-being, but to cut costs.
When mine wore off, I felt so low and disoriented. I didn’t recognise myself. That’s how powerful hormones are when layered over ADHD.
Women deserve better care and better understanding.
Embracing Your True Self
You Are Not Losing It—You're Awakening
If this feels like you, you are not broken.
You are tired. Masked. Unraveling.
And maybe — finally — ready to understand yourself without shame.
Becky Stone
I’m Becky Stone, a neurodivergent, trauma-informed therapist based in Canterbury. I specialise in supporting women through ADHD, eating disorders, and the emotional upheaval of midlife, including menopause. As someone with lived experience of ADHD, I know how overwhelming it can feel when your usual coping strategies stop working. My approach is honest, flexible, and rooted in compassion. Whether you’re dealing with executive dysfunction, hormone crashes, or identity loss, I’m here to help you rebuild trust in yourself, without shame.
“Healing is not about changing who you are, but becoming who you were meant to be.”
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