A love letter to anyone who feels conflicted today.
Mother’s Day can be painful , and you’re not alone.
We don’t talk about this enough.
Mother’s Day is often painted as warm, wholesome, and full of gratitude. But for many, it’s a day of grief, confusion, or quiet ache.
➔ What happens when your mother wasn’t safe?
➔ When did love come with conditions?
➔ When nothing you did was ever enough?
In therapy rooms, I hear this pain again and again:
Words that shaped a lifetime of shame
– “She told me I was fat when I was 11.”
– “She only calls when she wants something.”
– “She buys clothes two sizes too small.”
– “She never really saw me.
Understanding the Struggle
The Weight of Silence
We’re expected to be grateful. To smile. To send flowers.
But what if you’re still holding onto hope your mum might one day love you differently?
You are not alone.
Reflect and Reconnect
Client Reflections
Shared Experiences
These are the belief systems that shape us:
– “You’re too loud.”
– “You’ve put on weight.”
– “You never call me.”
– “Why can’t you be more like…”
They sound like passing comments. But they land like concrete. And they often become the root of deep shame, disordered eating, and low self-worth.
Impact on Self-Worth
Internalizing Criticism
Even now, on days like this, some parents will reappear with:
➔ A birthday card
➔ A manipulative message
➔ A guilt trip
➔ A reminder that “family is everything”
➔ A moment of kindness that comes with an edge
Except… it’s not. Not when love is weaponised.
Limiting Beliefs
You are not broken for wanting something different.
➔ You don’t owe access to anyone who repeatedly hurts you.
➔ You are allowed to grieve the mum you never had.
➔ You are allowed to protect your peace.
➔ And you are not broken because you longed for something different.
Family Dynamics and Emotional Triggers
Navigating Emotional Triggers During Family Events
Some people can’t love the way we need to be loved. Not because we’re unlovable but because they were never taught how to love.
Being a parent isn’t about power. It’s about presence. And if your mother didn’t show up with safety, care, and consistency, you get to break that cycle.
You get to do things differently.
Empowering Your Choices
Permission to Protect Your Peace
This Mother’s Day, honour your truth.
Hold space for the version of you that still aches.
And know that “good enough” mothering is built through repair, honesty, and love, not control.
You are allowed to step away. And you are allowed to build the kind of family you never had.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
A Gentle Reminder of Your Resilience
As you navigate the complexities of family dynamics, remember that you are not alone. Many share similar struggles, and seeking support is a powerful step towards healing. Embrace the strength that comes from acknowledging your vulnerabilities and using them as a catalyst for growth. You are resilient, and your journey is a testament to your courage and determination.
Therapist Profile
Becky Stone
07510 495791
Becky Stone is a qualified eating disorder counsellor and supervisor.
She specialises in helping adults, teens, and neurodivergent clients work through disordered eating, trauma, and complex relationships.
Becky supports people to break cycles, rebuild self-worth, and recover with honesty and heart.
Connect with Us
Take the first step towards a healthier you. Book a complimentary 20-minute consultation to explore how we can support your journey to mental wellness.
