We all have them, we all have things that we want to change about ourselves, them flaws we point out whenever we look in the mirror. Most of the time, we talk negatively about them and when we get in our heads seeing them is what makes us put ourselves done. But, it’s so toxic, it’s hurtful to hate yourself and the skin you’re in. It not only affects you mentally but it hurts your body too and it fills your life with negativity. 

scrabble tiles forming be fearless be you phrase

1) Appreciate your individuality 

Something we all have is individuality, we’re all unique in our own way and it’s important to recognise we’re all different. It’s ok to be different, it’s ok to have different perspectives on life and to think differently. We all have something we dislike about ourselves, but we also have things we love too, but we often push them aside. Your individuality could be to do with the way you dress, your hair colour, your creativeness, something that sets you aside from everyone else, something you embrace that you like to talk about.

That’s what makes you stand out from everyone else, it’s that you can be who you’re and appreciate it. Having individuality means that we’re not constantly trying to keep up with the trends, we’re not trying to be someone we’re not even though society expects us to most of the time. We all have our own personalities and our own way of thinking. We don’t always have to follow the leader when it comes to expressing ourselves or being afraid of being who we’re because we’re scared of what others will say. Instead, embrace that because that’s individuality and that itself is a beautiful thing.

you are enough text

2) Don’t compare yourself to others

We’re all guilty of this, and this can often be very damaging to ourselves because we constantly get in the mindset of ‘I want to look like that’ or ‘I look nothing like that!’ It’s so harmful to ourselves and we don’t even realise how bad it is. It’s important not to compare yourself to others, no matter how many times you want too. Avoid social media and using that as a way to compare yourself to others, because it’s not always what it’s deemed to be when it’s posted on Instagram.

Not everyone is real with how they look, a lot of filters are introduced or in general, try not to be natural excepting their flaws when it comes to posting on social media. So, if you want to help your self-esteem and help you embrace your flaws, stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t wish you were someone else, you’re amazing just the way you’re and you’re you. Don’t take it for granted, there is only one you and it’s not worth constantly spending your time wishing to look like someone else. Especially, when there are such unrealistic expectations nowadays, from magazines to social media. We’re constantly being fed this expectation of what is deceived as ‘perfect’ but that’s far from reality.

you are worthy of love sign beside tree and road

3) Love yourself

You may find this hard for yourself, especially if your confidence has been knocked down quite a lot. In life, we have times that our confidence takes a huge kick and we feel we can’t ever love ourselves or our flaws again. Due to the fact, they may have pointed them out and now they’re what we call our flaws because someone else pointed them out but we never saw them like that in the first place. Having that impact of what someone else has said to you, can really take a hit to your thoughts and can lead you to go down the road of negative self-talk because you then start hating them too.

But, honestly just loving yourself will help you live a happier life, one where you’ll look in the mirror and smile. You’ll see them stretch marks on your skin and think of them as you warrior stripes, what you’ve earned to show all the natural changes your body has gone through. You’ll look at the spots on your chin and realise that it’s ok to have them, it’s hormones or you’re very stressed, everyone gets them and they’ll go away. You’ll look at yourself and realise that even though you have these ‘flaws’ they’re actually what makes you, you. You’ll learn to love them, you’ll learn to appreciate them and realise that just because you don’t look like this definition of ‘perfect’ doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. Love yourself, love your body, love your scars and most importantly love yourself.

man in gray shirt looking at city buildings during daytime

4) Recognise you’re not your thoughts

We get so lost in that negative mindset, that constantly putting ourselves down letting our minds take over and make us feel bad about ourselves. We get so lost in our minds sometimes, that we find it hard to escape. But, it’s important to realise that we’re not our thoughts, we can block them out if we choose to and even though it may be hard it is possible. We fall into this trap of believing everything it tells us. Rather than getting lost in your thoughts, try to perceive your flaws as something you like and something that you can embrace, before letting the negative thoughts seep in.

In time, you’ll realise that because you were so caught up in your own mind, that you began to let your thoughts take over and let you hate on something you didn’t see as a bad thing in the first place. Too often, we let our mind get the best of us, whilst it is a very magnificent thing is can also bring us a lot of hurts and low self-esteem. But, sometimes we don’t even realise it’s doing it, we don’t see that our mind is bringing negativity upon us, but it can and it can damage how you feel about yourself. It can make them little things, seem massive and really put your confidence down. That’s why it’s vital to separate yourself away from the thoughts.

person writing on white paper

5) Reframe your thoughts

To reframe your thoughts, you must start to challenge the assumptions surrounding the beliefs you have about yourself. It doesn’t adjust who you’re but it puts things into perspective, it makes it easier to see things from a different light and realise that it’s ok to have flaws. Think to yourself, why in the first place you deemed your flaws as one because there is always a reason. Write what you perceive as a flaw down on a piece of paper, then write about why you don’t like them, any particular reason that when you look at them you call them a flaw and they bother you.

Then write something that you would perceive as a positive to that flaw, like stretch marks, for instance, some look at them as disgusting or because they’re overweight. Some look at them as a way of reminding them what their body has gone through, reminding ourselves of the fact our bodies change constantly, they go through a lot and it’s ok to have stretch marks like it’s ok to have any of these things we class as flaws. They remind us that our bodies are strong and they will continue to be.


If you’re looking for any online counselling or walk and talk therapy whether you’re a parent and you’re looking for your children. You yourself need it or you’re a student or anyone that is struggling at this time, then please do not hesitate to contact Becky. You can access contact details here. Check out the website for more information.

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