Menopause Unfiltered: Navigating Hormones, Identity, and Self-Care with Nic Pendregaust

Welcome to Real Talk. My name is Becky Stone, and this is a space where we remove all the filters and dive into the conversations that matter. Life can feel like a rollercoaster some days, especially during transitional stages like perimenopause and menopause. Whether it’s anxiety, hot flashes, or even feeling like your brain fog is taking over, these experiences can leave you wondering what’s happening in your body and mind. Today, I’m joined by Nick, a therapist specialising in these topics. Nick, welcome! Can you tell us a bit about your journey into menopause therapy? Nick: Thanks, Becky! I’ve been a qualified therapist since 2017, transitioning from a corporate HR career after 23 years. More recently, I’ve specialised in supporting women through perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause. My interest stemmed from personal experience—at 44; I noticed signs like fatigue, joint pain, and what I now know as living grief related to this transition. After a total hysterectomy in 2020, I experienced surgical menopause, which highlighted the need for proper HRT and psychoeducation. Becky: That’s so relatable, Nick. Menopause symptoms like night sweats, itchy skin, or even unexplained weight gain can feel overwhelming. How do you help clients manage this? Nick: I use a menopause-informed psychological care model, focusing on educating, validating, and empowering women. For example, many women face menopause depression or menopause anxiety that might seem unrelated to hormonal changes. We can better manage the symptoms by understanding these shifts, including the roles of estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone. Becky: That’s powerful. I’ve noticed menopause joint pain and even moments of unexplained rage, which felt like another version of me! How do you address this emotional turmoil? Nick: The menopause rage is real, and it ties into our autonomic nervous system becoming dysregulated. I teach clients to recognise their triggers, manage their stress levels, and embrace restorative yoga, weight training, and balanced nutrition self-care routines. It’s also about understanding that our energy budgets change during menopause. We can’t operate like we did in our 20s, and that’s okay. Becky: I love that you mention exercise because switching from intense cardio to weightlifting has helped me feel stronger. It’s also been vital for preventing osteopenia and supporting bone health. Nick: Absolutely, Becky. Weight training is crucial to navigate bone density loss linked to low estrogen. Incorporating movement doesn’t have to mean going to the gym daily; small actions, like balancing on one leg while brushing your teeth, can make a difference. Becky: That’s brilliant. What about the role of nutrition during perimenopause and menopause? Nick: Nutrition is key. Adopting a Mediterranean diet rich in whole foods—like avocados, nuts, and lean proteins—helps stabilise blood sugar levels and supports hormone health. Avoiding quick fixes and focusing on sustainable eating habits is essential for long-term well-being. Becky: That resonates. How do you help clients experiencing menopause, brain fog, or memory loss, which can affect their confidence? Nick: Brain fog is common, and I encourage reframing the narrative. Instead of battling through it, we build resilience with tools like mindfulness, consistent sleep routines, and healthy boundaries. Sleep, in particular, is non-negotiable. During sleep, our body detoxifies and resets, so strategies like stopping food intake three hours before bed or avoiding late-night alcohol can work wonders. Becky: Speaking of strategies, how can partners and families support women during this time? Nick: The best support comes from listening and creating space for open conversations. Partners don’t need to fix everything but can offer empathy and understanding. Educating family members about menopause symptoms, from hot flashes to emotional shifts, can foster compassion. Becky: That’s so true. I often remind my daughter that menopause genetics could impact her future. Having these honest discussions now helps break the stigma and prepares the next generation. Nick: Exactly, Becky. There’s a need to educate schools and workplaces about menopause. Programs on menopause in the workplace, for example, can support women navigating their careers while managing symptoms like tiredness, bloating, or even vaginal dryness. Becky: Nick, you’ve shared so much insight. Certainly! Becky: Nick, you’ve shared so much insight already. One of the things I wanted to ask was how menopause impacts our relationships and the ripple effects on the people around us. How can partners and family members best support someone going through menopause? Nick: That’s a great question, Becky. From my experience, one of the most important things partners can do is to listen simply. Women going through menopause or perimenopause often want to feel heard and validated. This isn’t something you can “fix” – it’s a natural process, and empathy goes a long way. For example, there’s menopause-related depression that can feel very isolating, especially if it’s mistaken for general depression. It’s a very specific type tied to fluctuating hormone levels, and it requires understanding and care. Interestingly, I recently attended an event hosted by Dr. Louise Newson, who does much work around HRT and menopause treatment. While most attendees were women, a few partners came to learn more. That willingness to educate themselves and engage in open discussions makes all the difference. Becky: That’s so true. I’m lucky to have a strong network of friends who are also going through menopause. We laugh, cry, and support each other through things like hot flashes, mood swings, or even those “pity party” moments when life feels overwhelming. Building this kind of community is important for women during menopause? Nick: Absolutely. Connection and community are vital during this time. Menopause can be a lonely experience if you’re trying to navigate it on your own. Having a group of friends to lean on – to talk about menopause symptoms like night sweats, fatigue, or even the emotional toll – helps women realise they’re not alone. And this sense of solidarity often encourages women to seek out therapy or other forms of support. Becky: Speaking of seeking support, I often tell my daughter about menopause genetics and how my experience might shape hers in the future. I think preparing the next generation is so important. Do you see this intergenerational conversation happening more often? Nick: Definitely, and it’s a positive shift. There’s increasing awareness about how menopause symptoms and transitions, like irregular periods or vaginal dryness, are influenced by genetics. Educating younger women – whether in schools or just starting their careers – helps normalise the conversation. In fact, there’s a growing movement to introduce menopause education in schools so the next generation isn’t caught off guard. Becky: That’s such a great initiative. Before we wrap up, can you share some quick tips for women dealing with common symptoms like brain fog, weight gain, or insomnia? Nick: Of course. For brain fog, it’s all about reducing stress and supporting your brain health. Sleep is critical, as it’s when your body detoxifies and regenerates. Stop eating or drinking at least two hours before bed to avoid disrupted sleep. Focus on strength training and a balanced diet rich in whole, unprocessed foods for weight gain. It’s not about dieting but nourishing your body with nuts, avocados, and lean proteins to keep your blood sugar steady. Becky: Those are such practical tips. And what about managing the emotional ups and downs, like menopause rage or feelings of grief? Nick: Emotional self-awareness is key. Acknowledge what’s happening and give yourself permission to rest when needed. Sometimes, it’s as simple as reframing the narrative. For example, instead of saying, “I should go to the gym,” say, “I can choose rest today.” It’s about balancing self-care and knowing that it’s okay to prioritise yourself. Becky: That’s such an empowering message. For anyone listening, how can they get in touch with you or learn more about your work? Nick: You can find me online at Clarity Counselling Kent – that’s my website and social media handle across platforms. Whether it’s through therapy, menopause coaching, or psychoeducation, I’m here to help women feel validated and regain control over their lives during this transitional time.