not so merry? coping with christmas when it feels a little tough
the illusion of 'Everybody's happy' at christmas
Have you ever scrolled through Instagram and thought, wow, everyone’s living their best Christmas life except me? Same. The thing is, social media loves a good filter and that applies to emotions, too. What we don’t see behind the cozy Christmas photos are the arguments over burnt cookies, the loneliness someone feels after seeing an ex under the mistletoe, or the sadness of missing someone who isn’t here this year.
christmas can mean different things to different people
Firstly, Christmas doesn’t come in a one size fits all package. For some, it’s about religion and celebrating the birth of Christ. For others, it’s about family, food, and tradition. And for many of us, it’s a mix of things or maybe none of the above, just a holiday.
Some people love the busyness of Christmas markets; others dread the noise and crowds. Some of us spend the day surrounded by family, while others might be missing loved ones or spending the holiday solo. Your Christmas doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s for it to be valid.
If Christmas makes you feel more stressed than blessed, that’s okay too. The important thing is figuring out what this time of the year means to you and being kind to yourself in the process.
Why christmas can be tough on some
Coping with holiday struggles
While Christmas is often portrayed as a time of joy and celebration, for many, it can bring its own set of challenges. From family dynamics to financial pressures, let’s explore why this season might feel tough for some.
Coping Strategies for the Holidays
The holidays can bring joy but also stress. Whether you’re managing expectations or seeking ways to stay grounded, these strategies can help you navigate the season with ease.
- Set Realistic Expectations
Not every Christmas has to be Instagram-worthy. Give yourself permission to have a “good enough” holiday. If that means staying in your pyjamas and watching Netflix instead of going to a party, do it. If you burn the cookies, laugh it off, it’s about the vibes, not perfection. - Create Your Own Traditions
If all of the old traditions are going to overwhelm you, or simply don’t fit your life right now, then start new ones! Invite friends over for a cozy movie night, have a budget- friendly DIY gift exchange, or take a solo walk to enjoy Christmas lights. Traditions are what you make them. - Say No When You Need To
It’s okay to set boundaries, even at Christmas. Don’t want to go to that family gathering or can’t afford Secret Santa this year? Be honest. You’re allowed to prioritize your well-being.
- Reach Out
Feeling lonely? Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or even support groups. Sometimes a quick chat or a funny meme exchange can make a huge difference. - Practice Gratitude
It may sound cheesy, but focusing on the little things you’re grateful for can help. Maybe it’s your morning coffee, a kind text from a friend, or the smell of your favourite candle. Christmas doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful. - Take Breaks from Social Media
If scrolling through Christmas-perfect posts makes you worse, take a break. Your mental health is more important than keeping up with someone else’s highlight reel. - Treat Yourself
Who says you can’t buy yourself a Christmas gift? Whether it’s a cozy blanket, your favourite snacks, or just some extra time to do what you love, you deserve it.
Keeping Yourself Safe and Supported
If Christmas feels overwhelming, it's so important to keep yourself safe-emotionally and physically. And here's how you can do that:
- Have a Plan: If you know that certain situations like family arguments, trigger you, think about how you’ll handle them in advance. Maybe it’s excusing yourself for a quick walk or calling a friend for support.
- Know Your Limits: It’s okay to step away from things that feel too much. Saying “no” doesn’t make you a Grinch; it makes you human.
- Reach Out for Help: If you’re really struggling, don’t be afraid to seek professional support. Counselling services, helplines, or online resources can be lifesavers.
- Lean on Your Chosen Family: Whether it’s your flatmates, friends, or even your pet, spend time with the people who make you feel loved and safe.
Christmas Can Be What You Need It to Be
But at the end of the day, Christmas doesn’t have to fit into anyone else’s box. It’s your holiday, and you can celebrate-or not celebrate-however you wish. Whether that’s a big family feast, a quiet day with a good book, or something in between, taking care of yourself is the most important thing.
If this season feels tough, know you’re not alone. So many of us are figuring it out as we go. So be gentle with yourself, take it one day at a time, and remember: It’s okay if your Christmas doesn’t look like a fairytale. It’s still yours.
Feel the love, hugs, and hot chocolate vibes this holiday season. You got this!
