We’ve all had the experience of being faced with heartbreak and having to slowly move on from something that hurt us. We’ve all had some kind of emotional pain and them times that we want to move on from but simply can’t. It does hurt and it’s even harder to accept what has happened and move on. But it’s important to try and help yourself forget and continue to ensure you live a healthier life and are not dwelling on the past. 

Sometimes we get so lost in blaming others for why we’re hurting and we then begin to expect them to apologise. But if we get to hung up on the fact they caused the hurt it can really backfire. Trying to accept the past no matter how hard it is, is something that will be the hardest moment in anyone’s life but the time that you finally move on will be the happiest time. 

The only way that you can truly move on is if you let that hurt disappear freely and focus on the positives and the joy in your life. 

1) Focus on the present

silhouette of road signage during golden hour

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

It’s something that many say, is to just focus on the future. When you reliase that it’s ok to let go and to let go of the past hurt. When you can stop reliving the upset over and over. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is make your future the brightest and most happiest time of your life. Live for the future and not for the past.

When you start to focus on the now you then have less time to be able to focus on the past. The memories of the past may tend to creep up every now and then and it’s important to acknowledge that. But then let yourself slip away from that and come back to the present moment. It’s a huge step to be able to let the past come along but then to accept it and push it aside whilst you focus on your future.

If you constantly crowd your mind with negative thoughts then you don’t have any room for positives. Welcome the joy back into your life and embrace the growth and strength you have endured through the hard times is what will make you feel more positive about the future.

2) If you’re ready let go

shallow focus photography of person holding a lighter

Photo by Yuvraj Singh on Unsplash

The thing is with anything in our past it won’t just disappear. We often have to push ourselves to ensure that we can make that decision to let it go. Which is something that can be extremely hard in itself, is accepting it and letting it go so you can move on. It’s easier said than done, but it’s a neccasary step to focus on the present and let go of the past.

You’re the only person that has that choice to let it go and it’s up to you when you decide to do that. It’s almost a sense of empowerment knowing that you can either, hold on to the pain or to live a future life without that hurt. These kinds of things we have with us that once caused us so much upset are potentially holding us back. Not letting us move on and constantly dragging us down whenever we think about them.

It’s about being able to take responsibility, to know that you’re strong and you make the decisions. It’s understandable, that none of us ever want to deal with the waves of emotion that come with letting go because we feel we never asked for it anyway. But continuing to blame it on ourselves takes the power we have away from us. Just know it’s ok to let go and do it at whatever time you feel is acceptable for you.

3)  Be kind to yourself

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Credit to Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

Stop being so harsh on yourself and reliase that everyone makes mistakes. Stop blaming yourself constantly and stop criticising yourself. If you feel that you will begin to criticise yourself as soon as you try and let go of the past then it’s time to push that negativity aside. Then begin to welcome in some kindness and compassion for yourself.

It’s almost like how you’d treat a friend, being able to offer ourselves a form of self-compassion. Not only that but being able to love ourselves and be kind. Sometimes, the hurt is the hardest feeling we have to experience and we may not be able to avoid the pain that comes with it. But what we can do is treat ourselves kindly. Then when the thoughts begin to arise, we can be gentle with ourselves when that time comes. Then when it’s time to let go and move on we would be able to give ourselves love and support through it.

4) Let yourself forgive

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

It’s safe to say that if you’ve ever been hurt it takes a lot for you to actually decide to forgive them. More often then not we’re so hung up on the fact they hurt us and that we can’t just forgive. But it’s something that is neccasary if you’re ready to let yourself forgive. It’s a huge milestone to be able to let yourself forgive those who wronged you and It gives you as an individual a whole load of strength to be able to let you do that.

Don’t always feel pressured to forgive, you can decide when you feel it’s the right time to do that/ To be able to let yourself build up the strength to be able to forgive those who’ve hurt you. Obviously, some things we simply can not forgive and that’s ok. But if you feel like you yourself have accepted what happened, you’ve let go of the hurt then it’s ok to want to forgive that person so you yourself can have full closure and move on.

Not just those who’ve hurt you, but forgive yourself too because you’ve been through a lot and made mistakes which we all do. Some may live with you forever and you’ll be constantly regretting it or the hurt someone has caused you really had you suffering. Stop kicking yourself for something that happened in the past and focus on yourself and the lessons that you’ve learnt.

5) Disconnect for a while

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Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

It’s ok to need to take time away to really help yourself and the way you’re feeling. If something you have been through has caused you a lot of hurt, it’s fine to need to take time away from others. To be able to focus on you. It’s important to be able to clear your head, just try and distance yourself from anything that reminds you of the past.

Try and just take yourself away from social media from the online world and just live in the moment. Take the time away to focus on you and you only and feel the stress float away as you become stronger and happier. Everyone needs to disconnect once in a while and it can do a wonder of good for anyone. Then when you finally return you’ll have a whole new pespective on the past and one where it’ll make it easier to accept and move on.

If you’re looking for any online counselling or walk and talk therapy whether you’re a parent and you’re looking for your children. You yourself need it or you’re a student or anyone that is struggling at this time, then please do not hesitate to contact Becky. You can access contact details here. Check out the website for more information and what there is to offer.

 

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