We all struggle with the fact we constantly compare ourselves to others. It’s hard to be able to stop thinking that way. But, what we don’t reliase is we lose a bit of ourselves in that process, we lose the love we have for ourselves and the passion to pursue what we want too. 

We get so caught up in wanting to have a better life, or look different or have a different goal. The reason being is we see someone else doing that and they seem to be excelling. But, what we don’t reliase is that no one is truly perfect or leads the perfect life. We all have hurdles and some of us reach our goals quicker than others and that’s ok. 

What matters is you stay true to you and be proud of what you have achieved. Always staying eager to push yourself even harder. But don’t do it for anyone else, or to be like them people that constantly feel the need to rub it in. Do it for you, to make yourself proud.  

1) Be grateful for what you have
two person holding papercut heart

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Sometimes, we get so lost in comparing ourselves to others because of what they have or what they’re doing. We get lost in that thought and end up neglecting what we should be grateful for. When you actually sit down and think about it there’s a lot. It can be the smallest of things, but we all have something we’re grateful for and it’s important to always cherish that.

So, perhaps it’s appreciating your family more and always thanking them for everything they’ve done for you. Or your friends and the fact they’re always there to support you and pick you up when you’re low. Your significant other, the fact that you love them and they love you and would do anything for you. Or it could be where you live or the job you have.

Make sure to shift your focus on to what you do have and how great that is rather than dwelling on what you don’t have. Because there’s always someone in life who has way more or way less.  Be grateful for what you have and be sure to let that be the only thing to focus on.

2) Be accepting of where you’re
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Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Something that’s really important is accepting what stage we’re at in our lives. It can be difficult to be able to happy with where we’re at if that’s not where we wanted to be. But it’s also something we compare far too much because some people seem to be closer to the finish line then we’re. Yes, it can be frustrating and can make you feel like quitting. If you give yourself goals of where you want to be in a few months or years that aren’t realistic, then you will be disheartened when you don’t reach them.

It’s important to be accepting of where you’re right now, whether that’s where you wanted to be or not. Whether you could have done more or you’ve done enough, just be ok with whatever stage you’re at right now. Stop doubting yourself and putting yourself done because you see some people further than you. This is your story and yours only and it’s completely up to you what your start, middle and end will be.

Be proud of how far you’ve come, be proud of the fact that you’ve achieved so much. If you feel unhappy with the progress you’ve made, then make decisions for yourself and no one else which will help move you in the right direction. Don’t always feel that you have to be well ahead, because it’s your life and it’s how you want to live it.

3) Find your purpose 
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Photo by S O C I A L. C U T on Unsplash

We forget to find our purpose, and it’s such a vital step in order to be able to stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has a purpose, everyone has something they really want to achieve, or have this vision of what they want their future to be. We hold onto this and we set them as our goals to be able to keep us motivated. But, when we get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others we forget about our purpose and what we want in life.

Whether your purpose is to become a musician, a writer, artist, chef, teacher, or even a parent we all have one and one that we want to pursue. But, when we see someone perhaps doing better or getting there quicker we get caught in this cycle of negative self-talk. We let that passion we had for that purpose go. It’s so important to be able to hold on to that purpose no matter how small or how big it is. It’s about being able to achieve that and it doesn’t matter how long it takes, what matters is that one day you’ll achieve it.

Keeping that motivation to pursue your purpose is such a vital step to feel better in yourself. To know that one day you’ll be able to reach that goal and that your purpose is specifically for you. You will do it at whatever pace you want. We all have things we’re good at and those we’re bad at, but when we find our purpose that’s when we truly don’t give up and continue to thrive.

4) Remind yourself nobody is perfect 
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Photo by Jonathan Hoxmark on Unsplash

It’s easy to get lost in that mentality of everyone around me is perfect and leading these perfect lives but why am I not? It’s something that can take a negative approach to your mental health and begin with a heap load of self-doubt. But, when it comes to the definition of ‘perfect’ no one really is that, as much as you think they’re. Just because someone looks like they’re doing the best of the best doesn’t mean they actually are. We all get caught up so much in the illusion of perfection and bring ourselves down when we can’t reach that standard.

We all have things we want to change, we all have things that we want to be different. We all go through hard times and some of the best times. But none of us are perfect and it’s vital to understand that in order to be kind to yourself. We’re all going through certain obstacles in our lives and some of us may be excelling but not everyone can achieve everything at the same time. Sometimes there are setbacks.

Just keep reminding yourself that no one is perfect, it’s easy to get lost in that train of thought and to put yourself down because of it. However, if you begin to accept the fact that everyone isn’t perfect you’ll begin to accept yourself and your life and be happy with your life.

5) Social media detox 
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Photo by Merakist on Unsplash

Social media, one of the most controversial topics that causes a lot of uproar. One that has a substantial amount of negative impacts on individuals but it does have its perks for sure. We’re constantly bombarded by social media, left, right and centre. Some of us spending pretty much every minute on it and being so sucked in by it that we don’t let ourselves have a minute to breathe.

We’re constantly looking at either Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and seeing these people represent what would be considered the ‘perfect’ life but in reality, it’s nothing like that. Something we do all too often and may not even reliase is we often compare our downfalls to someone else’s highlights. Which gets us into that cycle of feeling bad about ourselves and that malicious way of comparing ourselves to others. Don’t get me wrong, social media has its benefits and it’s a great lead for inspiration especially if you’re wanting to change yourself and wanting a pick me up.

But, sometimes it does more harm than good. It can trigger feelings of self-doubt, frustration and the feeling that you’re not enough. So, if you feel like this is happening to you and your constantly comparing your worst moments to somebodies best, then detox. Take a day off it, maybe even a week, work on yourself for you only. Have a breather, focus on you and come back to it when you feel ready too. Don’t let social media control you, your life and how you should feel it should be the other way round.

If you’re looking for any online counselling or walk and talk therapy whether you’re a parent and you’re looking for your children. You yourself need it or you’re a student or anyone that is struggling at this time, then please do not hesitate to contact Becky. You can access contact details here. Check out the website for more information. 

https://www.counsellorwhocares.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/BeckyCares/

Journalist