Being happy in a relationship is key, on a not so good day, there’s potential for a ton of drama. Once you decide to dive into a relationship, you’ve basically agreed to attach yourself to a person whose likes, dislikes, and problems become partly your responsibility. This can often feel like a lot of pressure, which can cause tension even in the healthiest of couples.
Dealing with a toxic relationship can feel like an uphill battle. It can affect the way you think about yourself and others, it can may you feel like you’re trapped and you can’t escape, you may spend ages contemplating whether the relationship is worth it.
The problem is most of the time even though its toxic and hurting you, you will still continue to stay because you love them, some people are often blinded to the fact that its becoming emotionally distressing because they love someone, of course thats hard to except when you’ve put all your effort into making it work, but when you realise its not worth it, then you can be happy.
Here are 5 warning signs to look out for which may lead to a toxic relationship:
1) They put you down
This is one of the biggest signs of a toxic relationship. Your partners standards are extremely high, and its almost impossible to meet them sometimes. You never feel like you’re enough for your partner, and you never feel like anything you do is worthwhile. If you find yourself constantly thinking of ways to appease your partner, your relationship is already unhealthy. You should never have to change for someone, or ever feel like you’re not good enough. It will damage your self-esteem and you’ll never love yourself as much as you should, no one deserves to go through that.
If you feel like this, this is a sign of a dangerous relationship. A sign of it is when your partner manipulates and controls the other, its always easier to control people who have a low self-esteem. You might not feel accepted, they will have little tolerance for the negative qualities, and they may shame or belittle you.
You have to remember that you’re good enough and somebody out there will appreciate you!
2) You can never be yourself
Relationships are about loving your partner for who they are, without wanting them to change. If you’re in love, you shouldn’t have to find ways to change your partner, if something isn’t right just tell them but never force them to change who they’re.
A sign of a dangerous and toxic relationship is that you feel like you’re walking one egg shells, monitoring everything you say and do, you can’t be who you are, you may find yourself putting on a persona, or changing your personality until you don’t recognise yourself. This is a sign you need to get out! No one should ever make you feel like you can’t be yourself!
You don’t need to be anything more and if you feel like you do, then thats not a healthy relationship!
3) Extreme jealousy
Fair enough, a small amount of jealousy in a romantic relationship isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, would you really want to be with someone who didn’t feel a little annoyed while watching you get hot on? Jealousy in small doses can actually be a much needed reminder of why we chose to lock down our partners in the first place.
However, if your partner is constantly overcome with jealousy for no real, concrete reason, then this is not good. If they’re actively trying to keep you from interacting with anyone they don’t like, or perhaps forcing you to stay in or constantly texting you when you’re out, then this is a red flag, especially when it starts to get obsessive.
This also ties in with trust, which is such an important aspect of a healthy relationship. Its normal to have doubts, every now and then, but when it gets to completely not trusting one another, this is bad news. It can affect the relationship to a point, were they might stop you seeing certain people because they’re concerned, or they will repeatedly call you or find ways to make you stay with them, this is a warning sign for you to get out!
If you feel like you’re trapped and that you can’t escape, the relationship is not worth it!
4) They won’t work on it
Instead of actually talking it out and working out the issues you have together, you will find that your partner would much rather let you take the blame instead and not take any responsibility for their actions, even though it may of been their fault, they will always shift the blame on you. It may make you feel upset and apologetic because it makes you think that it is all your fault.
The longer you stay, the worse the damage will be and the longer it will take to undo. You may feel like Nothing about your relationship is working, they don’t try and make it work and its like fighting a loosing battle, this is most often a sign of the fact its not going to work.
Don’t ever be the person who puts all the effort in, because that’s unfair!
5) You fight dirty
Couples fight, even the happiest of them, it just comes with the relationship. Fights can occur over all sorts of things, both big and small and most of the time can be solved. Happy couples aren’t ones who never fight, they’re ones who use fights and disagreements as a means to resolve the issue. If something can’t be resolved, they learn how to communicate better and reach a place of understanding.
On the other hand, toxic relationships usually fight to win. They use fights as an opportunity to tear the other person down, to hit below the belt, to get out all the anger and resentment they feel. Dirty fights are a sign of resentment in the relationship has hit its limit. These fights are full of hostility and contempt, and each person is desired to ‘win’ and prove their case rather than work together to resolve the issue.
You shouldn’t have to fight to win, you should have an occasional argument for a chance to fix the issue!
Remember, the sooner you free yourself, the closer you will be to finding a relationship right for you, even if it is hard you have to do what is best for you.
No one should have to go through a toxic relationship and constantly feel mentally and physically exhausted, even though it may of been the best relationship for a while, somethings don’t always work out. When it becomes to much, you have to know when to press pause.