Sadly, we’ve all had to go through heartbreak, it’s one of those things that most of the time we can’t really avoid and gets us at the worst of times. But, it’s one of the things that in time makes us stronger and makes us learn from the experience. Getting your heart broken is one of the worst situations to have to go through, it’s a very hard time to pull through, it’s almost a bit like grieving and the effects that has on an individual.

When heartbreak occurs, you often tend to lose yourself and lose your confidence and self-worth along with that, you feel everything you ever cared about strip away and it just leaves you in this slump of wondering why. Even months after it happened, you’ll find yourself thinking about it, thinking about the memories, but you will move on eventually and that’s what is important to remember. Heartbreak is tough, it’s painful, but it doesn’t last forever, even if it seems like it will. But, you can find your self again and get your self-worth back, it will take time. Here are 5 tips to help rebuild your self-worth after getting your heartbroken.

black and red wooden board

1) Cultivate self-kindness

It’s ok to go through many different feelings, to be upset, angry, resentful and so much more. Far too many of us try and force ourselves out of the stages of heartbreak to quickly, which in turn makes it worse. But, without being able to accept your own feelings and what you’re going through, you need to be able to acknowledge that in order to be able to slowly move on. We all have a different way of healing through heartbreak, but one step that is necessary is to check-in on our emotions and make sure we’re not ignoring them and letting them build up.

Of course, it’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling or going through the same emotions all over again, no one said it was going to be easy. You’re only human, for feeling the trauma of heartbreak, it’s not nice to feel any of those things. There’s a huge difference between recognising your feelings and being able to let them go and funnily enough if you don’t recognise them then you will hold on to them. By constantly refusing to feel, you will then in turn stop yourself from being able to go through the healing process. Invest in self-kindness ask yourself how you’re feeling, allow yourself to go through that. There’s no right or wrong way to experience your emotions.

man walking on empty road

2) Create a space for body positivity and self-love

Self-love is one of those things that we often forget about and often neglect. Make sure that you surround yourself with people that lift your spirits. That makes you smile and make you feel good about yourself. You need to be able to create a space for yourself where you can focus on body positivity and ways in which you can build your confidence up. Once you experience heartbreak, being able to find your confidence can be one of the hardest things. But, by allowing yourself to love yourself again and be able to express who you’re and feel good about it, will help you immensely.

Be able to invest in self-love and the strategies to learn to love yourself again, go on a journey to self-discovery and focusing on your strengths and your goals and getting to that place. It’s important that after heartbreak occurs, you don’t let it take over your life for a long period of time, whilst it will be hard for the first few months, it will get easier and that’s when you can start to begin to love yourself again and finding your confidence. Rather than self-medicating on things that have negative impacts for your body, dig deep instead and listen to your mind and what your body needs, don’t neglect it, love it and your mind too and it will be grateful.

person's blue eye

3) Forgive yourself

Moving on can be so difficult, one of those things we have to do in turn to help ourselves move on is to forgive. No matter what happened, it doesn’t matter whos fault it was it’s vital that you forgive yourself. That you learn from your mistakes and use it to grow stronger, without forgiveness it can make it very hard to move on from what happened and to ever be able to forget. Whilst, it may take time to forgive the one who broke your heart, it may be a necessary step for you to be able to move on with your life, but one that will take time.

Only forgive when you’re ready, you will feel emotionally drained by it all and you will most likely have a very hard time forgiving yourself. But, it’s important to realise that the past can’t be changed and we need to be able to accept that. Be kind to yourself, because you will need it through the process of heartbreak more than ever, if you’re hating on yourself and blaming yourself, it will make you feel a lot worse and slow down the process of moving on. Surround yourself with people you love and trust and take a look at yourself through their eyes and in turn, maybe you’ll be able to see the good things about yourself that you forgot about.

grayscale photo of woman right hand on glass

4) Allow yourself to grieve what happened

Possibly one of the hardest steps of the process is allowing yourself to accept what happened, to be able to grieve the process. Whilst, grieving has a different term, they do say that heartbreak very much feels like that and the processes are very similar. But, it’s the allowing yourself to be able to go through that process is where it gets really difficult. However, by allowing yourself to grieve what happened, you then in turn learn to move on and grow stronger. Whilst, it’s one of the toughest things you have to go through, you might look back at it in years to come and perhaps be able to to be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come.

Many people may tell you it’s easy to just move on, but only you know what it feels like to go through it. Don’t let others tell you how to feel, go through it at your own pace and don’t worry about it taking a lot of time because everyone is different and that’s ok. You will be able to understand your feelings more and be able to connect with yourself. You will learn a lot about yourself through the process and the way in which you handle certain situations. It will be a process where you go through many feelings and many times you might blame yourself. But, you have to allow yourself to move on, only you can decide when that’s the right time.

you are worthy of love sign beside tree and road

5) Remember your worth 

We’ve got to be able to remember our worth, we’re all worthy and when we go through heartbreak quite often we forget that. We forget how to love ourselves and how to build up our self-esteem, our worth is so important. During heartbreak, you will most likely forget who you’re and what you enjoy, which is one of the hardest parts. But, as you slowly begin to go through the process, you need to start remembering who you’re, what you like, what you’re grateful for and how to enjoy your life without that person.

Accept yourself, be able to love your imperfections, even though they may be the things that you solidly focused on a lot during the heartbreak. You need to be able to see your strengths and address your weaknesses but not in a way that will bring you down, in a way that will help you develop as a person and flourish in a positive way. Whilst, it’s very easy to lose your self-worth, it can be very hard to gain it back. It’s one of them things that we need, we all need to know our worth and realise we’re good enough. It’s one of those steps that is a part of a self-care journey that leads you to be able to lead a more positive life and be happy with who you’re.


If you’re looking for any online counselling or walk and talk therapy whether you’re a parent and you’re looking for your children. You yourself need it or you’re a student or anyone that is struggling at this time, then please do not hesitate to contact Becky. You can access contact details here. Check out the website for more information.

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